No Cloak Is Safe

This month, we are writing anything we want, or redoing a Fairy Tale, so . . .

No Cloak Is Safe by Maxine Davis

Looking in the mirror, she swung the bright red cloak around her, the hood covering her dark hair, then jerked it off.

“Hey, Red, why don’t you wear that swanky cloak with the hood if you’re going through the woods?”

Ziva DaDeed again picked up the new cloak.  “You win, Stoney, I’ll wear it, but do not think you are going with me.  I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.  I have killed before, you know.”

“Honestly, DaDeed,” Stoney leaned back in his chair and put his feet on the desk, “you’re in America.  Why don’t you try using contractions instead of saying do not?”

Ziva turned to the one of the other men in the thatched-roof cottage.  “Tibbs, don’t you want Stoney to watch a movie or something while I take care of getting this little care package to grandma?”

“Hey,” Tibbs slapped Stoney on the back of the head, “Stoney NoDozo, go watch one of your goofy movies and let Ziva and McGoo handle this.”

McGoo looked up from his computer.  “Huh?  You talking to me, Boss?  You want me and DaDeed to go kill somebody?”

Tibbs slapped the computer geek on the back of the head.

“Ouch, Boss.  I thought I heard Ziva talk about killing.”

The small woman, who was known to have made big strong men cry when she pinched them, rolled her eyes.  “McGoo, do not get in my way.  Grandma is waiting for ‘the package.’”

Tibbs drank from his cup of cappuccino.  “Not a bad idea McGoo.  I’d hate to see you come between DaDeed and the sharp end of her knife.  You just stay here and keep track of her with that GPS do-dad you play with.”

Ziva DaDeed swirled the cloak around her body and let the hood come low on her head just above her big dark eyes.  She turned toward Stoney and winked as she picked up the package, tore off the tag that said explosives, put it in her basket and started through the woods.

Stoney knew better than to take the wink seriously.  “Keep an eye out for the Wolf that I hear has been hiding in the woods, DaDeed.”

“Boss.”   McGoo looked up from his computer.  “I’m tracking every step she takes.  Ziva will be safe.”

“I’m not worried about her, McGoo, I want that wolf alive!”

Unknown to anyone, since he was not wearing a tracking device, Mr. Wolf had slipped into Grandma’s house, gobbled her up, put on her nightgown, climbed into bed and switched on the TV.

Knock, knock, knock.  “Grandma, it’s me, Little Red Riding Cloak, I brought you a surprise.”

The unusually deep voice said, “Come in Sweet Taste, ah, I mean, Sweetpea.”

Ziva’s forehead creased in a frown when she heard Grandma’s unusually deep voice, and for a moment, her hand touched the knife at her waist.  “Hm-m,” she whispered to herself, “sounds like she is watching TV again,” and she moved silently through the house toward the bedroom.

Ziva DaDeed stopped at the foot of the bed.  “Jeepers, grandma, what big eyes you have.”

“All the better to see you with.”  The wolf pulled the covers to his chin and grinned wickedly.

“And Grandma, what a big mouth you have.”

“All the better to whistle at the woodsman with, my dear.”  He pulled the cover over his mouth.  He just hated it when he couldn’t control his drooling.  “Come closer my lovely morsel.”

Ziva took a step around the end of the bed then stopped motionless.  “Grandma, you never learned to whistle . . .”

“I know!”  The wolf threw the cover off and pounced.  “All the better to eat you with, my dear!”

Ziva threw the basket on the bed.

KA-BOOM!!!

The basket exploded and Wolf limbs flew through the air and blood and goup landed on Ziva’s new red cloak.

“Oh sh . . .”  She pulled the hood off.  “And this was the first time I wore it.”

Another blast rocked the room as suddenly the wolf’s stomach exploded.

“Holy Mother of Torture.”  Ziva could not believe her eyes.   “Is that you Director?”

“Yes, Ziva.  I had to pretend to be Grandma to lure the wolf here.  Your little package worked just like I thought it would.”  The director brushed fur from her suit.  “But Tibbs is going to be upset.  He wanted the wolf alive.”

Ziva matter-of-factly brushed the mess from her cloak.  “Yes, well, Mr. Wolf should not have startled me.  Excuse me I have to make a phone call.”

Ziva moved to the window and opened her cell phone.  “Tibbs, I made a small mistake.  Can you send the medical examiner, Sucky, and his crew?   Oh, and Grandma was the Director.  She wanted our little package to take care of Mr. Wolf.”

“I know Ziva.  I know everything!  My coffee keeps me alert.  Stroney, McGoo and I are outside waiting for you.

When she climbed in the car, Tibbs smacked the back of her head.  “Ouch!  What’s that for Tibbs?”

“For ruining that red cloak.  Stoney wasn’t the only one that liked seeing you in it.”

“Honestly, Tibbs.   Men and their red cloaks.  You should be more interested in what is under them!”