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So, you’ve decided to join a critique group. Congratulations. It’s a big step involving lots of trust — kind of like trusting the kiddie plastic picnic table won’t collapse when you heave yourself on it to get on the trampoline.
But how do you maximize what you get out of the group? I’ve come up with some guidelines.
1. Monopolize
Face it, all those other manuscripts are crap, recycling bin fodder. You have the Great American Novel. It deserves the majority of the attention. Even when the group moves on to another story, artfully bring the discussion back to your work.
2. Defend the House
I can’t emphasize how important it is to defend your work. Any time someone questions your characters, plot, or scene construction, give a detailed explanation
of why you did it that way. Be confrontational. Get in her face. Wear your team colors with a vengeance. After all, you’re going to be able to give that same, detailed explanation to your readers once the magnum opus is in print.
3. Prioritize
It takes a good chunk of time to do a thoughtful critique. Time is precious. Why waste it on those crappy other manuscripts? Remember, you have the Great American Novel. It’s generous enough of you to skim the other work.
4. Troll for Compliments
Great talent demands recognition. Some people are stingy with compliments and need to be pressed. It’s fine to continually ask if your work is ready, good, or better than all that other published crap. When people hesitate to answer, it only means they don’t know how to sufficiently express their awe, or maybe they’re jealous (remember, their work is hovering over the recycle bin).
5. Submit Random Bits of Brilliance
The subtle changes you made to paragraph two on page 156 are so freaking genius that everybody wants to drool over them again…and again…in addition to having the pleasure of reading your current chapter. If they don’t sufficiently admire the Random Bit of Brilliance, revisit tip #4. If they stupidly liked a previous version, revisit tip #2.
Okay, we’ve all probably been guilty of practicing one or more of the above rules. I’m the gal Defending the House. I really have to watch myself on that one. If you feel like fessing-up, I’ll hear your confession and as a fellow guilty writer, absolve you.
by Anna Steffl
24 comments
I pray to God my CP doesn’t read one of your tips and think, “Well I definitely know somebody like that.”
I really try to be good, Cindy!
Laughing my rump off, Anna. Brilliant.
I’m a troll because I don’t have the writing confidence I should have (does it even exist?).
This is hilarious. I really enjoyed your post.
Marilyn Baron
Thanks for the pointers. I am not part of a critique group yet, but now I will know how to handle myself when I find one. (tee hee!)
Anna, I loved it!! I can’t believe you were a #2–just not like you! When I first heard about Critique Partners, I think I suddenly became all of the 5, but now when I get one, I’ll know it’s for my own good and I’ll TRY to keep my mouth shut, except for the “Thank you.”
Terrific post, Anna. I can’t believe any of this applies to us. We’re perfect….not. (Well maybe y’all are. I think I need work on #2 myself. So easy to do.)
Oh, Anna. I think I’m probably guilty of all of the above. It’s that only child syndrome that I normally try to mask. My realization the other day was that I must not have a critique group because I’m not a good partner.
Absolution would be good. : )
Sally
JPS – only bad or wanna-be writers are really confident. The rest of us know it is hard.
Anna – LOL over #2. When discussing pages I’ve critiqued and the writer starts arguing, “But you don’t understand…” – I’ve asked if they intend to stand in the bookstore and explain to every reader. I think you should ask for clarification if you don’t understand a critique, but it’s ultimately up to you to take the advice or not. It’s your story.
I enjoyed your post. I approach every story I read with the same mindset whether it’s unpublished pages or a published book – that I’m going to love the story because that’s why I read. I never start reading thinking I’m “looking for mistakes or plot holes.” If something jumps out at me then I note it. That’s what my cps do for me – bless them.
Love it, Anna! (See #4) Of course, I could only skim it(#3)cause my piece of brilliance is in revisions. Not that it really needs revisions (#2)
Seriously, it may be a great tongue-in-cheek piece, but hopefully the humor will help someone see themselves and self-correct! Fortunately, I haven’t had anyone for a CP that fits any of these.
Too funny!!! I started reading, then said “What?” Then had to start over again after I got to the second one and caught on (I’m a tad bit slow…grin….).
Thanks for brightening my day (I seriously needed it today).
Tami
Same here, Tami. Too funny!
Great one, Anna S.
Thanks for reading, M&Ms (Marilyn and Maxine). I need to remember that advice — keep my mouth shut and say thank you.
Yeah Pam! I hope you find a critique group that works for you.
Linsey & Sally — none of these apply to any P4HtT except me. How else would the list have been so easy to write?
Thanks for commenting, Dianna, and reminding me how important it is to begin reading every story with the intention of loving it. I’m pretty good at approaching unpublished work that way, but I’m way too critical when it comes to some published novels. Jealousy, I guess. But that attitude is only ruining my enjoyment.
Thanks for the chuckle, Debbie!
Tami, I hope your day just continues to get brighter. You are a superwoman.
It’s been awful how long I’ve been out. I think it’s been more than two weeks that I’ve visited the site and I feel terrible. I’ve been battling some things and think I’m finally on the mend, so I’m glad to be back!
I’m in a critique group myself…three chicks and a hen. I love my ladies and value everything, even the heated arguments we have (I actually love those the most because I know that what we’re discussing must be important if we break our comeraderie for a moment to bare our teeth at each other.)
I wouldn’t leave my CG for the world. They are my greatest champions, wisest companions and partners in crime.
In other words, they rock!!!
Excellent post Ana.
Have a brilliant day!
tamara
Oh and PS, they’d cringe if they saw how many exclamation points I put in this comment.
Hi Carol! Thanks for reading.
Tamara, I’ve been an absentee P4HT a bit lately, too, so I know the pain. I’m glad you have the rockin’ critique partners. Mine is so great. She puts up with me being a real doof and never is one herself.
Anna,
That was great. I know someone who fits each one. I’m number 3. COnfidence in my writing isn’t my strong point. We pegged us all in some ways.
Oh, Anna, great job. Like Tami, I started reading and did a double-take and started over. You found a really cute way to slap our hands and tell all of us to shape up. I know we’ve probably all been guilty of one or the other at some time in our writing career. The thing I catch myself doing so often is comparing. My writing is as good…or better…than his or hers, but they’re on the NYT Best seller list! How can that possibly be? lol
Anyway, thanks for giving me a huge chuckle.
Sandy
OMG, Anna, so NOT the thing for me to read while gasping for the slighest breath in the first place. LOL!
I’m fairly certain that I’m guilty of #5–upon occasion. Okay, maybe a little more often than occasionally.
Sadly, I’ve encountered some hideous creatures out there in critique-land. But they are far, far in the past, thank goodness and my CP’s both past and present for the last several years have been lovely.
Yes, JPS, I mean you.
Anna, thanks for the laugh. I think we’ve all either been one of those partners or experienced one. I’ve struggled with #2 & #4 myself.
Are there words to express how much I love you? Oh, yes ROTFLOLWTFBBQ!
(remember, their work is hovering over the recycle bin)… Comedy.
What a delight to find this post on my first visit! I’m guilty of #2 with a pout. I find it so endearing and I’m sure my cp does, as well.