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Hi everyone (Dianna waving at you) –.jpg "DiannaLove-Hi-Res-photo12-260x300")
Thank you, Petit Fours and Hot Tamales, for inviting me back to your blog and congratulations on the new hot look!!
I sat down to write my first book in 2001. I started writing the story I wanted to read, one that opened fast and the pace only picked up. When I sold that first book it still had very close to the original opening that were the first words I had typed. As a reader, I’ve always had to be captured quickly to consider buying a book, mainly because I did not have much free reading time (and have even less these days) so I would not commit to reading a story that did not interest me right away.
This came in handy later on when I decided to try writing a book. Don’t get me wrong – I still had plenty to learn about writing, but openings have always been something I look forward to writing. If some of you are readers who have harbored a secret desire to write – why not? Just like me, every writer I’ve ever met was a reader first. It has been said that “everyone has a story inside them.” And for the record, if you think “I’m just a reader,” there is no such thing as “just” a reader. You are precious to all of us who write and the most important person in our world when we sit down to create a new story.
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You’re still probably wondering what we’re doing today on the PFHT blog that both Writers and Readers can participate in. This is a fun writing challenge. We’re going to play with opening lines. First Tip: When I’m working on an opening, I want to get anchored in the setting early so the reader isn’t wondering if they are in a metropolitan city or a thousand leagues beneath the sea or light years away in outer space. But if I have to choose between setting and hook in that opening sentence, HOOK will win every time. Mixing the two is even better.
Sherrilyn Kenyon and I co-author a romantic thriller series based on the Bureau of American Defense (BAD) Agency.
Each of our first three BAD Agency stories begin with a black ops mission that sets the tone and the pace for the stories. SILENT TRUTH, our next release on April 20th, begins with Hunter Wesley Thornton-Payne III approaching a sheer cliff on a Hawaiian island that rises out of the ocean he and a team mate will have to scale to reach their objective. But that’s only the beginning of his night that will take an unexpected turn.
Second Tip: When I read a story, I want to be pulled into that world one step at a time. But just like when you climb steps that go up for fifty feet you don’t want those steps too close together or too far apart..jpg "WhisperedLies-MM-186x300")
Ready to give it a try? Great. Here’s what you do:
READERS – Feel free to use the writing prompt below. If you don’t want to do that, find an opening line (the very first line) in a story you like and post it with the book title and author. And tell us what grabbed you about that line. The line can come from any book and doesn’t matter if the rest of the book was good or not BUT PLEASE do not post anything negative about anyone’s book here. That’s why there is chocolate and vanilla – because we don’t all agree on everything, but both ice cream flavors are loved by millions.
WRITERS – Below are five “generic” opening lines for a scene. They are written in first person Point of View (POV) such as “I turned in my homework on time.” and third person such as “Genevieve turned in her homework on time.” You can change the point of view. Enhance (use names, descriptions, etc) the opening line any way you want as long as we can identify the opening you chose without you having to tell us. Write the first scene that comes to mind. Don’t worry about being correct on anything—just write and have fun.
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WRITE AN OPENING PARAGRAPH OF NO MORE THAN FIVE (5) SENTENCES. [If you don’t want to write an opening paragraph then give us an interesting opening line YOU made up.]
1) She waved at the trophy-wife her neighbor had married a week ago and wondered if the petite brunette woman knew what had happened to the man’s last two wives.
2) Call me negative, but I doubted the demon striding toward my bakery was interested in the special I was running on macadamia nut chocolate muffins.
3) I’ve had unshakeable faith for twenty-eight years, but the letter in my trembling hands had the potential of destroying all I believed in.
4) She raised her eyes to his face and said, “You’re out of your mind if you think I’m putting my mouth on that.” [Note - No erotic openings - strong openings do not default to the first easy leap and that’s not at all what I was going for with this one. The person who does guess what I envisioned when I wrote this will win a choice of the books listed below.]
5) He thumbed the release on his weapon and counted to ten…then to twelve, just to assure she had plenty of time to remove that last piece of clothing.
PRIZES, PRIZES, PRIZES…
In addition to the book I’ll give away to the person The PFHT will draw
three names from everyone who posts (even if it is just “hello” ) by
midnight today.
You can choose to receive a copy of one of the following books:
PHANTOM IN THE NIGHT (Bureau of American Defense)
WHISPERED LIES (Bureau of American Defense)
SILENT TRUTH ((Bureau of American Defense)advance copy – being released April 20th)
DEAD AFTER DARK (Paranormal anthology that includes Dianna’s debut Belador novella)
BREAK INTO FICTION ® (for writers)
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TODAY!!!.png "Smile"){kind=small}
NYT Best seller Dianna Love started writing suspense while working over a hundred feet in the air creating spectacular marketing projects for Fortune 500 companies. Her first book won the prestigious RITA award and second one debuted on the NYT list. She writes thrillers and urban fantasy, now co-writing a contemporary Bureau of American Defense (BAD) Agency thriller series with #1 NYT best seller Sherrilyn Kenyon and an upcoming paranormal thriller – BLOOD TRINITY – based on the Beladors®. Their next release is the romantic thriller SILENT TRUTH (Pocket/April 2010). An international speaker, Dianna teaches the highly-successful Break Into Fiction® Character-Driven Power Plotting program that is now in a book. For more on her visit www.AuthorDiannaLove.com and www.BreakIntoFiction.com
by Guest Chef
44 comments
Thanks, Dianna for being with us and for being such a great friend to this blog. You are so right about openings.
I’ve got to run to work now. I hope to come back later and play with your terrific examples. Meanwhile, here’s an opening without a story that came to me recently:
I shouldn’t be alive.
I shouldn’t be here telling you this now. By what supernatural hand or fickle finger of fate I am, I can’t say. But I shouldn’t still be breathing.
And after what just happened to me, I’m not sure how long I will be.
Hi Dianna,
Thanks for blogging with us today. Let’s see…..the guy sat on a rock to rest during a hike and a snake (or a poisonous spider) bites him on the calf. He reaches down with his knife and cuts the wound, but can’t reach it with his mouth, so he tells her to suck on it to get out the poison.
(I made every effort to keep it clean…I started with it biting him on the butt) (g)
Sandy
Hi, Dianna! Thanks for blogging with us. I can’t wait to read your new release.
Like Linsey, you caught me too early in the morning to face the writing challenge.
But I love the first two examples. The first is more in tune with a book I’d write so I would probably attempt that one.
I’ll just cite the opening line of a book I’m about to finish.
“While swords of lightning slashed and stabbed murderously across the scarred shield of sky, Bart Minnock whistled his way home for the last time.”
It’s from “Fantasy in Death,” by J.D. Robb.
The words she used in the opening don’t just describe the weather outside (swords of lightning slashed and stabbed murderously), and give us insight into Bart’s cheerful personality (whistling), but (we soon find out)also the method of Bart’s murder (beheading with a sword after being stabbed). I didn’t think about that until I just re-read the opening. She makes good use of foreshadowing.
Openings are my favorite part to read and write and I can’t get beyond them unless I really nail the opening. To me openings set the tone for the rest of the book.
Marilyn Baron
Dianna,
Thanks for being here with us. We always love having you.
The only sure thing in Lucy Millford’s life was that her father had died. The letter in her trimbleing hand told her she’d been living a lie for twenty eight years. How could her parents have done this to her?
Good morning Linsey –
I’m happy to come out and visit but thank you for the kind words.
I like that opening. I get an opening line or opening vision and jot it down sometimes to see what springs from it. That has a nice creepy feel.
I hope you can come back and play today.
Sandra –
LOL – I can see that! And I applaud you for coming up with something clean, but have to say a bite on the butt could definitely work for humorous story.
That’s not what gave me the idea, but I love yours. Cassondra (my ass’t) reviews what I write for blogs and interviews so that it won’t sound like I wrote before I had coffee.
I’ll tell you what she came up with for #4 by the end of today if no one else has the same idea, but hers wasn’t what inspired me to write that opening either. This is going to be fun, sort of a ‘where’s waldo.’
Thanks for poking at that line.
Good Morning Dianna! Miss you! It’s good to hear about what your doing! Then again I suppose we can’t always hang out at Pierre Masperos in N’awlins Love~april
Hi Marilyn -
Yes, even though I get up super early my brain won’t always click on a puzzle without thinking on it for a while. And I think of things like working hooks and such as puzzles.
Great opening example and I love that you broke down those parts of the opening line. Note – if you’re coming to the April 17th One Day workshop Mary and I are teaching you’ll be analyzing things in that way. That’s why we call it a Power Writing Day and you’re already warmed up for it.
Thanks Susan – I love visiting here.
Nice spin on the #3 opening line. I like that you took it in a completely different direction than I had in mind. That’s why I’m always saying ten writers could write the same opening scene 10 different ways. This opening has an emotional hook (we’ll talk on hooks extensively in the workshop). thanks for an example.
To Everyone – Once you read these openings and walk away you’ll probably come up with an “ah ha” moment [because that's how our writer minds work
] so feel free to come back and give a revised version or post whatever hits you. I love how creative this group is and enjoy the different directions you each take on an idea. Don’t feel like if you gave one example you aren’t allowed a second one. 
I’ll be popping in and out today.
I like this opening for a book becuause it sets up the premiss for the story. THE SEDUCTION OF AN ENGLISH SCOUNDREL-Jillian Hunter “The Boscastle-Welsham wedding would have been the wedding of the year-if the groom had bothered to show up.”
I made this one up
The secret ingredient in the coffee sure wasn’t one the local Starbuck’s served because it tasted a little bitter. As the posion took me down, I should have trusted my taste buds.
Hi April –
LOL – “you” should be able to use Elio in a good hook line. Nice to see you. thanks for stopping in today.
For those wondering what we’re referencing, April is talking about our last KCON event in New Orleans this past fall. We had a large time.
Hi Joye -
I do like that Jillian Hunter opening – sets up that there are problems in the opening scene. Here’s where the setting and time frame is so important and relevant. If this had been a contemporary story it would have been distressing, but not necessarily a strong opening because getting stood up at the altar is embarrassing and hurtful in any era, but getting stood up back then was devastating to a woman’s reputation.
And I enjoyed your poison opening [I know that says something about my personality that comes out in writing ] and one with a bit of wry or dark humor.
thanks for sharing with us
She waved at the trophy-wife her neighbor had married a week ago and wondered if the petite brunette woman knew what had happened to the man’s last two wives. After six months of marriage, the women had become virtually unrecognizable. Bleached blonde hair and bodies as thin as Calvin Klein models. At least that was before they’d both been found dead in the woods back behind the golf course. A blow from a nine iron would do that to a girl.
She guessed they’d find out soon enough if this one was smart enough to stay away from golf.
Woohoo, this was fun. I’m still wondering about the mouth one. I have a few ideas, but am not sure if any of them are close.
Thanks for stopping by, Dianna!!! This was a hoot.
Tami
Dianna ~~I can’t even read a blog by you without getting excited to write!! Way to share! I ran across a great opening line in a conversation I was having with a friend the other day. Take away the fact this was a true situation and you’re left with great hooks. “Jake McCord was lousy at living but he sure knew how to die.” and “Oops is not something you want to hear in a bunker filled with nuclear missles.” We’re going to have a fun time playing with Openings and Hooks and Setting and more at GRW on the 18th. Can’t wait!
~~ Mary B
LOL, OK Dianna, let me just start of by pointing out I am not a writer, I would be the illustrator/photographer, so NO promises and PLEASE don’t expect too much!!!
She raised her eyes to Elio’s face looked straight in to his deep smoldering brown eyes and said, “You’re out of your mind if you think I’m putting my mouth on that.” Elio had just given her the biggest, strongest and best tasting Apple Martini she had EVER had.
I’ve had unshakeable faith for twenty-eight years, but the letter in my trembling hands had the potential of destroying all I believed in.
Could my parents have lied about the day I was born? If not, then the woman who was announcing her arrival to meet me in three days was a raving lunatic.
This is a fun exercise.
Sandy
Tami -
I’m laughing so hard I can’t type. That’s a hoot. I love how the protagonist wondered –
“…if this one was smart enough to stay away from golf.”
I didn’t see that line coming.
I’m glad you had fun with this. It’s like a play day for your brain when you can say or do anything in a an opening.
thanks for sharing your opening
April – You are too funny. I plan to see Elio on my next trip to NO and will print this out to share with him. For a non-writer, not bad at all, but your photography skills are par excellence.
But that still isn’t where I was going with the ‘mouth’ opening. I know, I’m evil.
Interesting Sandy, because I’m wondering why someone would lie about the “day” someone was born. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered that. You may need to keep that one.
thanks for giving it a spin – I’m glad this has been fun.
Dianna~Elio definately was a very nice looking man, but I usually go for the older men, love those silver foxes!!! I know that’s not where you’re going with the ‘mouth’ opening, I was just partaking for the fun! Beside it wouldn’t be fair if I were to win, I know you!!! Thank you for the compliment on the sub-par opening but like I said I’m not a writer I’m the artist! You have seen some of my photography! Hehe
Hi Dianna! Sorry I’m so late to the party. Here’s my take on one of your openers:
I thumbed the release on my weapon and counted to ten … then to twelve, just to assure he had time to remove that last piece of clothing. When his boxers hit the ground he placed his hands on his hips in a gesture of bravado just as false as his sweet, lyin’ words.
I pointed the gun at his chest, then lower. “The next camp is about 5 miles down the road. You’d best start walking.”
This was fun.
Thanks for stopping by and supporting us like you do. You are the best!
Sadly, I won’t be able to go to your workshop next week – we’ve got family obligations. But I’ve got your Break Into Fiction book, and I still have my notes from that first Atlanta workshop. 8)
See you soon!
Oh, and I forgot to take a stab at opener #4 – is she referring to some sort of nasty person or other worldly being that needs resuscitation?
Hi Dianna, one of my favorite opening lines is from Marjorie Liu’s Iron Hunt. “When I was eight, my mother lost me to zombies in a one card draw.” I really needed to find out how that happened and what came next.
Darcy –
Nice job on one of the openings. I’m enjoying how much humor is coming through in these openings today, even the ones with a weapon…the metal kind.
I totally understand that you can’t make the workshop, but will miss you. Have a great weekend and see you at another meeting.
thanks for giving us an opening.
Hi Barbara -
For those who don’t know – does someone really not know who Barbara Vey is??? – Barb is the TOP contributing editor for PW and has the Beyond Her Blog.
I love Marjorie’s opening and have used that in workshops. That sold me on Iron Hunt, too.
thanks for stopping by.
April – hugs and email me so we can discuss some upcoming travels. Would love to see you.
thanks for visiting today
Hi Diana.
One of my favourite opening lines is from One For The Money by Janet Evanovich. “There are some men who enter a woman’s life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically.” I knew I was going to love the book.
Hey, Dianna. I’ll miss this workshop, too.
Muted voices ran through Jade Wilson’s head. None belonged to either of her sisters or anyone else she recognized. For the past week she’d struggled to shut the voices out. She massaged her forehead, paying special attention to the pain over her right eye. Staring at her laptop screen for so long didn’t help.
Hi Mary -
Ah, a mysterious opening that makes us wonder why Jade hears voices in her head,and how many.
Too bad you can’t join us for our one day event, but thanks for stopping by today.
Okay, about the line – “She raised her eyes to his face and said, “You’re out of your mind if you think I’m putting my mouth on that.”
A woman who was OCD was told to blow into a breathalizer.
I envisioned it as a woman who had been stopped for driving under the influence and the policeman told her she had to blow into a breathalizer…but she’s OCD. And, she hadn’t been drinking but had been exhausted from pulling a twenty hour shift.
When Cassondra read that line she guessed a woman who had to siphon gas with a hose.
Lot of great idea popped up today (yesterday). Thanks for participating and for inviting me to blog with PFHT.
Oh gosh, and I guessed a harmonica and was about to post, LOL!
Oh, wow. It looks like you ladies had fun yesterday.
Great idea, Dianna.
I’ve had unshakeable faith for twenty-eight years, but the search warrant in my trembling hands had the potential of destroying all I believed in. He’d said to ignore the vicious rumors and I had, just like I’d dismissed the venomous looks Daddy got from Aunt Rhoda after Uncle Vitto disappeared under suspicious circumstances. But this was my haven in the country, a home I’d lovingly tended for years so I could leave that life behind. Now the FBI wanted to destroy every one of the gorgeous, surprise-in-the-middle-of-the-night flower beds that Daddy’s gardners had planted. Come to think of it, one of them had appeared the night Uncle Vitto vanished.
Sorry I didn’t get here yesterday. This is a great blog idea! I have to admit I just scrolled down to find out what she didn’t want to put her mouth on! Great idea! I’m going to try my hand at this on our drive to Calloway Gardens this afternoon. Thanks so much for stopping by!
Hahahaha! I never guessed the breathalizer, but I did think of the hose. I actually had to do that once.
Great day, Dianna! Thank you!
Tami
Cripes. I didn’t make it by midnight, well at least not midnight EST.
I am so looking forward to your presentation at April’s GRW meeting.
Debbie – Harmonica was another good idea I didn’t think of and that wouldn’t take an OCD person. “I” wouldn’t put my mouth on someone else’s harmonica. lol
thanks for your idea
Hi Carol –
I couldn’t get back until this morning again. Very nice opening and different spin on that one. I like how it ended on a wry sense of humor. Reminds me of a mystery author whose name I can bring to mind.
thanks for stopping by to give us another example
Hi Spav – I don’t know when your post popped up. It wasn’t there when I replied to Mary’s yesterday. I DO remember Janet’s opening line to that first book in her series and doesn’t it just set the tone?
thanks for giving us an example and for stopping by
Hi Mary – {for those of you who are not writers – Mary Buckham is my Break Into Fiction partner and awesome author) Your post wasn’t here yesterday either. I had one not show up the other day on Barbara Monajam’s blog here that I’m going to go look for again.
Those are great opening lines – can’t wait for you to make the leap across country next week. I don’t envy you that flight (from Seattle for those who might be wondering) but Karl’s food will be at the end.
thanks for the opening lines
Darcy –
Ah ha – I knew if I challenged this group with a line like #4 I’d get plenty of ideas I hadn’t thought of and yours is another one. And surprising because I don’t think you write paranormal,so kudos on that, too.
thanks
Tami -
I had to do the siphon bit a couple times in my youth,too, and hated it. Ugh.
Ana -
Wasn’t it fun seeing all the examples for #4? Hope you had a great ride to Callaway and share your stab at this.
thanks for coming by
Anna -
I say we put everyone in the drawing if it hasn’t been pulled yet. So glad you can make the meeting next week. Looking forward to seeing everyone.
thanks for stopping by