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By Marilyn Baron
This photo of a rainbow was taken by my brother-in-law, David Baron, from the balcony of our condo in Florida.
Was it the end of the world? No, it wasn’t 2012. Nuclear winter? No, it was spring. Actually, it was spring break. That might account for what I faced when I left the calm of the Delta Crown Room recently and emerged into the mass of humanity at La Guardia airport. It looked more like a Greyhound bus terminal. The last time I saw so many people stranded was during Snow Jam ’82 in Atlanta when my car ran out of gas and I walked to the McDonald’s only to find hundreds of people fighting over the last French fry in the franchise.
There were 150 people standing by for my flight (I am not kidding), more people than already had reservations on the plane and the flight was delayed. No bad weather in either New York or Atlanta. The woman on the loudspeaker calling out the names of cleared passengers sounded more like a drill sergeant. Just a typical air travel day.
Air travel used to be fun, an adventure. Now it’s just a major hassle.
On a recent trip to Florida I had to pay an extra $25 to check a bag when the coach ticket was about $500. I resent that. I’m really getting tired of flying. It’s almost easier to drive than fly. When you drive, you leave on your own schedule and you can pack as much as you want and whatever you want and you don’t have to remove your shoes.
Considering you have to be at the airport at least two hours ahead of time and, in my case, it takes about an hour just to get to the airport, and you can almost always count on the flight being delayed both taking off or landing, by the time all is said and done, you could have driven to your destination faster.
And the seats? They would be fine if you were a sardine, but seriously, there’s barely room to move around in the seat, much less, “move about the cabin.” And there’s inevitably an oversized man squeezed into the seat next to you, whose folds of fat are flapping over into your personal space. Not to mention the requisite crying baby. Or the chirpy passenger who is dying to tell you his or her life story even though all you want to do is read your book in peace. What a delight.
And the airline acts like they’re doing you a favor by giving you a bag of peanuts. I’ve stopped ordering a drink in flight because then you’re stuck with a plastic cup that may spill in the turbulence and it’s difficult to leave a drink on the tray table when you try to get up to go to the restroom, if you can fathom climbing over your next door neighbor to get to the aisle (assuming the drink cart is not blocking your way).
Of course, if you’re in first class it’s a different story. Once, on business during a cross-country trip, my colleague sat in first class and I had to sit in steerage because she was a frequent flyer on that particular airline and I wasn’t.
This month, I’m planning another trip to my beach condo in Florida, where I can relax and watch the sunrise, or witness a convention of dolphins frolicking in the waves, and even see a rainbow from my balcony. But this trip, we’re going to fly. I hope I don’t have to go through another end-of-the-world experience to get to the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow.
Care to share your worst nightmare air travel experiences?
by Marilyn Baron
20 comments
This was a very funny post, Marilyn. I love your voice.
I’m still in the honeymoon phase of flying which means I LOVE it. All those things you described, I look forward to because it means the beginning (or end) of a fabulous adventure. My son LOVES going to the airport early and exploring all the neat (albeit expensive) shops and seeing some of the items we would never buy in a million years.
We picked my mom up recently from the airport in Atlanta and got a kick out of watching a man sleeping in a vibrating chair. He would wake up long enough to put more money in, then zonked out again while his body shook around like he was having a seizure. It was funny that he was able to sleep through that.
We thought it was hilarious when they had my son remove his shoes and get the wand check. He was only five at the time and we couldn’t imagine why they would choose him out of all the people there. He thought it was a hoot and we certainly played it up. Now that he’s older, we take bets on whether any of us will get the “special” treatment.
Oh and those cups. I can see your point with those. The last time we flew, I spilled my whole drink into the inside of my backpack that I had sitting between my feet. You know, the one with my LAPTOP in it!!! That wasn’t so fun, but thankfully I’m pretty anal and had tons of napkins available to wipe it up.
Thanks for sharing this with us today. I hope your next flight goes much smoother…grin…
Tami
I enjoyed hearing about air travel from your point of view. It was very refreshing. Of course if you didn’t have air travel you couldn’t easily go to a lot of exciting places so it’s not all bad. Some particular flights just stand out. And I’ve probably been flying longer than you since I’ve been around longer than you (my age is showing). But listening to your point of view makes me realize how much I’m taking flying for granted.
When you mention your son had to take his shoes off it brought to mind the time we were flying out of Denver and there was a woman in front of me in line who had never flown before. She was probably in her 30s. When she was instructed to remove her shoes, she just looked at the guy like he was from another planet and said,’ “WHY?”
I just burst out laughing. We’re all so used to doing that but if you didn’t know the reason for it and had never listened to the news (or you were living in a cave)it would seem kind of silly to take off your shoes in an airport line. The absurdity of it all just hit me all of a sudden.
Thanks for your lovely comment.
Marilyn
Air travel and airports certainly have changed, yet every time I take a driving vacation I think to myself halfway home… dang!, If we’d been on a plane we’d be home and tucked in bed by now!
My last flight(s) were when I was trying to get from southwestern Canada to Lexington Kentucky. I researched and cheaped it out so we both flew for the price of one… ha ha, we left home at 6 in the morning and arrived at our hotel TWENTY-FOUR hours later! (felt like I’d walked the whole way, but still worth what I thought of as a free trip!)
I quit flying years a few years ago, when pilot error cost me a dear friend. But I’m nearly ready to fly again (used to have my own private license). Its good to know how much it has changed, so I’m not in shock… my goal is the RWA Nationals in 2011… sigh, if I chicken out, I can drive to San Diego in 2012!
Marilyn,
Had to laugh…I’ve experienced every single one of your negatives. We’ve been stranded in Colorado overnight (snow) and we’ve been stranded in Israel for two extra days when Air France pilots went on strike. Fortunately, we were with a tour group and they got us a hotel and it gave us two more days to visit around Tel Aviv.
I’d rather drive than fly if possible, but not because I’m afraid, but I prefer two in our car versus 150 in an airplane with all the lovely conditions you described.
Enjoy Florida…I’ll be down there in July for Nationals.
Sandy
Kathy,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I don’t know how you can ever get over that.
It would be difficult to drive across the country so flying sometimes is the only way to go, but when you talked about your 24-hour flight to Kentucky, you probably could have driven faster.
Sandy, yes I prefer to drive to Florida with my husband, but he has to do all the driving. I don’t like to drive long distances. I tend to fall asleep as soon as I get in the car or start reading a book. So it was his idea to fly this time. I know you’ll have fun at Nationals.
Thank you both for commenting.
Marilyn
Ah,Marilyn, as they say…don’t get me started. I spend way too much time in airports, sometimes 2-3 weeks a month. I used to hate driving and still do not like being locked up in a car for long, but I have recently started driving any time I can justify the time over flying. Or if my husband is going where he’ll drive so I can work.
I’ve always traveled a lot for business and there was a time that I actually liked being away from phones and computers for a couple hours where I could read or work in peace, but that isn’t the case any more. I work the whole time I fly, but it’s not an ideal place to work. Just necessary.
The best thing I can suggest for anyone who doesn’t travel much is to have a laid back attitude in the security lines and travel early enough when on a schedule to allow for the canceled/delayed flights if you don’t want to be stressed out on a trip. I won’t share all the things that have happened to me in airplanes over the years or I’d talk myself out of flying on Monday.
You should hear Karen Rose’s story about flying – I’m surprised she ever got back in a plane. But, we do what we have to do.
Dianna,
Thanks for visiting the blog today. I know you travel a lot so I can understand why you don’t like flying. Sometimes the trip itself isn’t so bad (if it’s short) but it’s the getting to and from and being at the airport that’s a hassle.
When I flew to Australia and New Zealand last year, my trip involved 8 different flights. The flights to and from Australia were some 21 hours each. Strangely, those long trips didn’t bother me. I watched about 8 movies and of course, read books. Except for the girl sitting next to me who I’m convinced had H1N1. I was sitting across the aisle from my husband so we could each have aisle seats but the two girls sitting in my row seriously both had the flu. And their conversation was out of this world. Of couse, I eavesdropped.
Now that you mention the Karen Rose story, I’m going to have to find out what that was since I’m very curious. If anyone knows, I’d like to hear it.
Marilyn
Yeah, travel is part of the job. At least every job I’ve had. I do try to drive as much as possible to events (so I can cart along whatever promo items I need without paying a fortune to fly/sit them there). And I pay for all my promo/travel/expenses on my sky miles card, so I can upgrade to first class whenever I’m on a plane for more than an hour (close spaces are not my friend). And my family drives just about everwhere on vacation, unless we get there quick. And recent air travel has been particuarly taxing for some reason.
But I have to admit, the convenience of living in Atlanta and being able to get anywhere any time as quick as we can here (as a Delta hub) is a fantastic bonus when you’re in a pinch.
We’ve thought about moving to a favorite mountain town of ours one of these days, but as long as I need to travel as much as I do, the distance from a major airport would be a major downside.
Now if they’d just stop charging us for not being able to live out of a carry duffle when we get to our destination, or needing more than a sandwich bag of stuff to do our hair and faces so forth… MEN make up these guidelines, I assure you
Marilyn,
Loved the post! Thank goodness my husband loves to drive and hates to fly. From Macon, we always drive to the beach. Would love to do that very thing next week!
As Dianna said, don’t get me started. I am not a tiny person and I do hate airline seats – with a passion. I think the airline is guilty of torture!!
I did fly 1st class when I went to Italy. All of my companions laughed at me and my expense. They ALL tried to get on 1st class on the way back but couldn’t. It was a whole lot nicer, but I’m afraid that was an expensive treat I gave myself that one time.
I stay on the ground. Haven’t flown anywhere in years. But I like reading about other people’s travels – good or bad. Vicarious is the way to go! Thanks for a good laugh, Marilyn.
Maxine,
I would love to drive to Florida also, but just getting to Macon takes hours because Atlanta is always backed up, especially on holiday weekends. Once you get to Macon, it’s smooth sailing (unless there’s a rainstorm or road construction) which almost always happens.
Yes, first class is wonderful and your trip to Italy sounded great but it doesn’t happen that often. I commented to my husband that the seats seem to be getting smaller or else I’m getting larger, which is probably true.
Linsey, thanks for commenting. Staying on the ground is sometimes the best way to go.
Marilyn
Oh,marilyn. One summer it tool us well over 12 hours to get from Atlanta to LA. First, we had a layover in ohare; then we boarded the world’s tiniest plane–even my 5’4 self didn’t have enough leg room–with the world’s crabbiest stewardesses. One told the guy behind me, who has asked nicely, that, no, he could not have a beer. She told him he should have flown first class if he wanted a beer–and he was already holding out the money!
The beverage cart bumped my 6’2 hubby’s knee about a bajillion times before we finally reached la where they had to put us at an unexpected gate then made us walk about two miles to baggage cla where we couldn’t find our bags.
We finally found our bags behind a rope. Thinking they were being reserved for us because we had been running late, I went to pull my bag out. The attendant went loca. A shouting match ensued because she wanted our stickers, and we didn’t know what she was talking about. Moreover she wasn’t inclined to elaborate. Instead, she called the police on us who forced us to stay another 30 minutes at the airport even though they quickly came to the correct conclusion that we were weary traveler and she was a word that I can’t repeat here. We made it to the hotel at. 2am la time.
I wrote a heartfelt letter to united about the whole experience, and they basically told me it was all my fault SO we don’t fly united and we don’t fly into lax. I’m still steamed thinking about it–do I really look like a rabble rouser to you guys?
Marilyn, I’ll drive anytime I can rather than fly….I went 26 years between my last two plane trips! Needless to say, a lot had changed this last time I was on a plane.
I do, however, want to travel to a few places where flying just makes sense, so I guess I’ll be flying soon enough.
Just having returned from New York City, I feel your pain. Shocker for me, my plane from LaGuardia to Charlotte arrived 25 mins EARLY!!! unheard of. For the first time in YEARS, I didn’t have to run to the next gate that seemed 12 miles and three cities away. LOL!
Sally,
That has to be the worst travel story I’ve ever heard. Wow! I didn’t even think they checked those luggage stickers anymore.
I can’t believe the flight attendant told that guy if he wanted a beer he should have flown first class. And that they called the police on you. And they blamed you for everything? I would have thought they would have given you something for your trouble. Like a free ticket or something. Now they lost a customer. Wow, that was pretty bad.
Darcy, I hope your next flight is a good one. You probably avoided a lot of stress by not flying.
Marilyn
Marilyn,
I used to love to fly on business trips. I’d just plug in my MP3 player, and read book after book. Sometimes I would talk with my seatmates…I’ve heard some pretty incredible “fish” stories. I’ve met people I’m related to (especially when I’m flying out of New Mexico…we’re all related!)
Lately, I haven’t enjoyed flying as much. I feel claustrophobic. Maybe the seat space is smaller than in the past?
If I have a choice, I’ll take the car if someone else is doing the driving. I get a lot more work done!
Have a great week!
Jillian,
Early? That’s one for the record books. Although in Australia and New Zealand all the planes arrived early. It’s rarely happened to me in this country. Amazing. Most of the time we just circle or even land in another city, but early? Wow!
Anna, Yes the seats are getting smaller, for sure. That’s neat that you meet people you’re related to. That’s never happened to me. Traveling used to be a lot more fun.
Marilyn
Anna D,
Thanks for commenting. Yes, Atlanta now has the busiest airport so we have the best city for air travel. My husband travels a lot for his job and he couldn’t live anywhere else.
You’re right about those baggies. It gets more and more difficult to stuff things in there. When I travel with my husband I don’t have to pay for checking a bag but if I travel by myself I do and it just doesn’t seem fair that we can’t even check one bag for free.
Marilyn
Marilyn, I’ve always flown with my hubby, so I haven’t had to deal with the seatmates telling their life stories. However, our worst flight trip was back when we were in Curacao and Hurricane Ivan came through. We’d flown Jamaica Air and since the hurricane went through there, they had sent their planes away. After we crawled out of our bunkers on the island of Curacao, Air Jamaica simply wasn’t flying. After 3 days of extra resort expenses, all they’d say was that no, they would NOT put us on another airline and that they would get us home eventually. Finally, we bought new last minute tickets that sent us thru FL with a layover (where Ivan tried to double back and get us again! – our plane left from there only an hour before *that* airport was shut down!) WHEW! insane – of course we did NOT get any $$ back! Thanks for sharing your stories & listening to ours!
Pamela Reader,
Okay, now you have outdone Sally’s flying horror story. Wow! I never even thought of hurricanes, although I should since I’m from Miami and I grew up knowing them on a first-name basis. As a matter of fact, the first one of the season is brewing nearby. Hurricane Ivan was definitely out to get you.
I have a friend who says everything that can go wrong on her vacations does, and I think she has a hurricane horror story too, but I think yours is the winner.
Thanks for sharing it. My daughter just got back from Curacao and had a great time, no hurricanes, no flying problems.
We love it when you visit the blog. Thanks.
Marilyn