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In the mood for a little controversy? Maybe you’ve heard about this story.
A couple weeks ago, a hapless life coach published an article she has to regret by now. In it, she quoted a psychologist who claims “there are similarities between what happens to a man when he views pornography and what happens to a woman when she reads a romance novel.”
This is supposed to be true, regardless of the heat level:
The life coach went on to say, “Women are more stimulated by romance than sex, so when they read romantic stories (and they don’t have to be explicit to work) they can experience the same addicting chemical release as men do.”
“For many women, these romance novels may be more than a necessity; they may be an addiction — and Slattery [the psychologist] said she is seeing more and more women who are clinically addicted to romantic books.”
Uh, correction, more women she claims are “clinically addicted to romantic books.” I understand some readers are sensitive about the level of explicitness in the novels they read, and I respect that. But “clinically addicted”? C’mon.
I think the psychologist must have had to change her name and move her practice out of state for all the hubbub she created on the Net. I love the response of the Romance community to these charges.
Christina Dodd got 166 responses on her Facebook page when she wrote about this blog post in reaction to the life coach’s statements.
I hope you read that article. It’s hysterical. Especially the part about the new Twitter group: #romancekills. In case you don’t make it over there, I’ll just quote the last several paragraphs:
…crime writer Jason Pinter started the satirical hashtag #romancekills asking “what other horrible calamities romance novels are responsible for”.
“My plea to romance writers: please stop writing. You are destroying marriages, the fabric of society, and the entire cosmos,” wrote Pinter, going on to suggest that “the destruction of Alderaan was due to Darth Vader reading too many romance novels”, that “Maria Shriver’s marriage to Arnold Schwarzenegger dissolved because Arnold was reading too many romance novels” and that “King George VI only developed a speech impediment because he kept thinking about scandalously illicit romance novels”.
Romancekills quickly became a trending topic, with other writers and readers jumping in to defend their choice of literature. “Fleas carrying black death were imported into Europe in romance novels,” contributed romance novelist Rachel Grant. “The Titanic hit that iceberg because the lookouts were too busy reading romance novels,” added literary agent Amy Boggs. And “every time a woman reads a romance novel, her lover dies … slowly, and with great pleasure,” wrote novelist Christina Dodd.
I say romance novels can HEAL relationships, can BUILD self-respect in women (i.e. role models like Eve Dallas), and can help women to understand themselves and the men in their lives better. As for addition, maybe there’s just a lot of good writers out there how can tell a spell-binding story. Ya think?
So what’s your take on this?
by Linsey Lanier
29 comments
Wow! I had not heard about this one, Linsey. I’ve been writing and trying (note trying) to limit my internet time. The last controversial post I read was from a writer at the Wall Street Journal talking about how today’s YA is too dark and ugly for kids. This sent off a fire storm of posts that rocked the writing world. That’s what I love about being a part of such a diverse group. People are passionate about their crafts and willing to stand up and defend them.
I’m headed over to Twitter right now to check out that hash tag.
Thanks for sharing.
Tami
Gee, guess I’ve been hiding under a mushroom…while I write these fearful romance novels…and didn’t even know the harm I was potentially doing to the world. lol
I remember our pastor saying once that the Bible talks more about love than it does hate….hummmm, should I go there?
I have to go back to that old saying: Love Makes The World Go Round. I’ve read some thriller books that had the potential to give me a nightmare, but never once have I worried about the dreams that my romance books will spawn.
Hi Tami, I haven’t heard of the Wall Street Journal writer. Sometimes it’s good not to hear about these things (I’ve got to watch my blood pressure, you know
.)
Sticking with your writing is a good thing to do, no matter what winds of controversy may be blowing around you. Keep it up.
Sandy, I love your pastor’s remarks. And the old saying that we often forget in practice. It’s good to remember the Love Makes the World Go Round (that’s even an old song). Good point about thrillers. I love edgy mysteries, but turn to romance for the sweet parts, and the HEA.
I credit romance novels with helping me learn what a relationship is SUPPOSED to have, as opposed to some of my friends who were with people just so they weren’t alone. My dad used to laugh and call me fickle when I’d date for two weeks and then end it because my “standards” were set fairly high. But, when I met my husband 12 years ago, we knew in a week and were engaged in 6 months (the engagement lasted a little longer, but I don’t think it would have mattered either way). We’re still going strong.
So, yeah. Romance novels killed my desire to be with someone merely to avoid loneliness. And they killed my desire to be with guys with a) no ambition, b) potentially abusive, and c) selfish and/or chauvinistic tendencies.
Aieeeeee! Run for the Hills! Bring in the children and the small pets! Reading romance is the end of the world as we know it.
Really? Since when is being addicted to reading books a bad thing? By recommending not to “invest in fictional characters” does that psychologist advocate banning books and literature altogether? I wonder if she has even read a romance novel?
I must be dangerously unbalanced then. Might as well face it, I’m addicted to romance.
Linsey,
Enjoyed this post! I hope the trend grows toward reading romance books. I think people need to know there can be a Happy Ever After – and if their relationship is not, maybe romance will help.
It’s amazing what some people will grab onto to make a headline.
Hysterical! What a crackpot theory. Romance kills, eh? What a way to go!
Oh Linsey, I’m all revved up now. I agree with Marilyn. Since when is reading a book a bad thing? I call it well educated. I’ve learned so much about history, geography, human emotions or psychology and just plain old life between the page of a book that happens to have a HEA. Hurray for me.
Working as a substitue teacher in middle school, I’m telling you we NEED good books to pull young minds into the best habit in the world. Reading! Twilight did that for so many young people who’d never picked up a book. Even boys were reading it. I hope they keep reading. Maybe it will spur into an epidemic and they’ll expand to different genres. But then, is it considered addictive?
Wonderful post!
That’s an authors dream!
I must have missed all the hubub going on about this topic, but I’m glad you included the links so I can catch up (whatever happened to the LAZY days of summer?)
I’ll say one thing…Boy would I like a bunch of clinically “addicted” romance readers
Have a great day!!
Tamara
Oprah Winfrey had a show a long time ago with a psychologist on it who said that our romance novels have EMPOWERED WOMEN to expect to BE TREATED WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT by their men. This is about empowering us as women to believe we can have careers, lives of our own, and amazing men who love us because we are independent and fierce and strong.
The article you wrote about was influenced by a certain religious sect that does not empower women at all.
I did follow this little controversy initially, but the site that posted the article closed itself to comments pretty quickly. That says a lot in itself.
Linsey, tsk, tsk! Where’s your byline? I had no idea who’d written this post until I saw your avatar at the bottom.
That little admonishment aside, I’d not heard about this particular kerfluffle, but I’m wondering if the life coach and original author of such drivel still goes out in public? LOL! Maybe she needs a little life coaching now.
Wow, Noelle. What a great tribute to our industry. I think we should have your comment printed on cards to hand out anytime we get one of those remarks about what we do.
Super response, Marilyn. Good point about banning literature. So readers only invest in characters in romance novels? From one unbalanced addict to another.
You’re right, Maxine. She probably wrote it just to get readers. I believe in HEA, too.
Excellent point, Sia. We’re supposed to encourage people to read and not watch the boob tube or play video games. You just can’t please some people.
Oh, yes, Tamara. The more addicts the better.
Thanks.
Christine, there’s another comment to put get printed on cards. “Romance novels have EMPOWERED WOMEN to expect to BE TREATED WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT by their men.” LOVE IT!
Yes, I shied away from mentioning the sect, but you are right on. And perhaps the article was an overreaction to that, combined with ignorance of the topic. Or maybe just fear of those capitalized words.
Hi Debbie. I didn’t know the site got closed down. We have a pretty powerful group, we romance writers, don’t we?
Hi Pam. Yes, “crackpot” is the operative word here, I’d say. Thanks.
Carol, my face is as red as that hearts graphic! This is the FIRST time I forgot my byline. Guess I was so fired up by this topic, it slipped my mind, LOL. That’s funny about the Life Coach. I’ll bet she does need one now.
My mom, who would have turned 90 on the 25th and was married to my dad for almost 60 years before his death, was truly addicted to romances. She joked she’d read all the classics and that she needed some “popcorn for the mind.” Every month, she’d get the Harlequin Presents and Silhouette Special Editions from the library first and read through all of them in a frenzy. One month, someone at the library made a mistake and let someone else check them out and boy, did she get angry! Having said that, she was a steadfast wife and this whole thing would have made her laugh. BTW, she also enjoyed some pornography too….
Hi Julee. Thank you so much for telling us about your mom. I’m adding your comment to my collection. What a wonderful story. I think it’s just more proof that romance novels can keep a marriage strong.
Wow, Lindsey, I had no idea this was going on. Incredible, isn’t it, the things people come up with? I’m with everyone here, romance empowers and entertains, gives hope and inspires. What more can we ask for?
I so agree with you, Darcy. “Romance empowers and entertains, gives hope and inspires.” Another good motto for the business cards.
Evidently, the most recent incarnation of this offensive anti-romance argument surfaced on an LDS group’s site, whose article PLAGIARIZED a Tuscon newspaper’s guest column from 2007. Author Carolyn Jewel was the one who spotted the similarities: http://tucsoncitizen.com/morgue/tag/page-b02/page/123/.
Have. Mercy. Every time I try to tell myself that it’s safe to forget about my minor in women’s studies, something like this happens. Honestly, there are plenty of men out there who write complete slop, but romance is constantly denigrated because it is by women and for women. It’s about relationships–not about historical figures or battles or mysteries. It’s about relationships. Pure hogwash. And I sent an e-mail to the LDS telling them just that. And then to find out the thing was plagiarized? There’s no better way than that to get an English major’s goat!
Sally, I’m with you 100%.