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For the greater part of two weeks I have been trying to think of something to write about for this blog post. Normally, coming up with a topic is not a problem. Finding the time to write about said topic? That’s trickier. For some reason, though, I have felt discombobulated this entire year. I am the poster child for a space cadet. I had to ask myself, “Self, what is up with you? Why can’t you think of topics? Why can’t you remember why you walked into the bedroom five minutes ago?”
My self didn’t even have to answer because about that time a four-year-old bundle of energy streaked through the house wearing nothing but a smile. I’m going to call maternal privilege and lay the blame on one busy little lady. In honor of all of the things that have distracted me in the past few weeks, I thought I would share my top ten distractions:
10. I was quietly writing away. I should have known better. When I finally got up to investigate, I found a drawing of a Tiki god on the back of someone’s bedroom door. And Zorro had been through the Barbie house adding the sign of the “Z” to random pieces of furniture.
9. And then there was the time someone used my pizza cutter to cut Play-Doh…
8. The front door opened. The front door closed. Guess who went outside and started picking dandelions wearing nothing but panties and Hello Kitty boots?
7. So, I went to the bathroom after sending the hubby off to work. Guess who decided to get proactive about breakfast and procure a bag of giant marshmallows while I was gone?
6. I sent a certain daughter to get dressed. The same child who liked to wear bikinis in winter decided to dress like this: Her Majesty (P.S. The air conditioning was broken that day)
5. When the disposable mop head came off the mop, guess who decided to permanently affix it with wood glue?
4. I’m giving this spot to the Hobbit because he appeared one afternoon to ask me, “Seriously, how do you get to Sesame Street?” I had to stop and think about that one. Nope, I still don’t know the answer.
3. You know how cute that purple Tinkerbell border was? You remember, I scoured the Internet for months while pregnant looking for just the right print. Yeah, well, the pretty part comes right off the wall leaving a bland beige band around the wall—all it takes is sharp, angry little fingernails.
2. Guess who decided to try peeing in a cup for no apparent reason? Guess who went for a paper cup when Mommy took away the plastic one? Guess who went ballistic and redirected a certain someone to the potty?
And the #1 reason I don’t get anything done and can’t finish a thought around here is….
- Obviously I have to stop what I’m doing and share all of this on Twitter and Facebook!
So, when you ask me a question or send me an e-mail, and I don’t answer it right away, just send a gentle reminder. I’m not as organized or focused as I once was, but, hey, I wouldn’t have it any other way. There will be plenty of extra time to write once my babies are in school because I’m sure as heck not dedicating my life to housework any time soon. In the meantime, I’m chalking this all up to novel fodder.
What about you? What causes you to lose focus?
by Sally Kilpatrick
32 comments
Too funny! You need to write your adventures with the Hobbit and Her Majesty into an article for a magazine. You help make other parents understand that they are not alone.
Enjoy them! They grow up all too fast.
Oh, Sally, You gave me a much-needed laugh….thankfully hubby hadn’t brought in the mug of coffee yet or my keyboard would have been in danger.
Can I say that someday you will laugh at all this and wish you had it back? Yeah, I really didn’t think you’d believe it, but just trust a grandmother that the day will come.
Oh, and the day will come when she’s expecting her first and you’ll tell her that you hope and pray she has one just like herself since there’s no revenge or payback in the world like watching a grandchild who acts like your precious angel used to act. (grin)
Sally, girl, I knew it was you with that opening paragraph. Come on August! I get it! And, I applaud you for being diligent despite the fact that some days, don’t tell me I’m lyin’, you want to throw in the towel and let them take over your world and their’s. Lord of the Flies here I come.
I have recently debated putting chain locks on the doors so “Red” can’t leave the house without me knowing BUT she would just go out the pet door. Then, I would have to figure out how to chain the gates to the backyard. But hey, she’s so tall she can climb right over. So, I prepare her, and yell a lot, instead.
Hang in. That school train’s a comin’. Until then, I’ll give you the tender piece of advice my mom gives me (which BTW makes me nuts), “Aw honey, she’s not going to be three forever.” – Lindy
Total crack-up. Of course you had me at the title. My brain is my worst distraction. It is always coming up with new ideas and projects, but didn’t get the memo that there are only 24 hours in a day and some must be devoted to sleep.
Kids AND social networking. What a combination. I don’t have kids, don’t network as much as you do, Sally, but I feel just as discombobulated (love that word) at times. I don’t think there is such a thing as organization. I think we dreamed it up when we were in college.
My top ten reasons for distraction wouldn’t be half as interesting as yours.
Her Majesty looks so much like you…
By the way, for those who want to read more of your adventures, what’s the link to your blog?
Sorry for the delay in getting over here….the Hobbit requested his eggs over hard. I had two thoughts upon said request: 1. Thank goodness I had that brief flirtation with being a short order cook! and 2. Wait a minute….why did I ever show that child I can cook eggs to order? I should have feigned ignorance and handed him a Pop Tart.
Christine, I have thought about a comic book entitled the Misadventures of The Hobbit and Her Majesty. I also have a few story ideas that would incorporate some of Her Majesty’s antics.
I always stop for snuggle time in the morning. I’m already thinking about a new couch so I can have room to get my arm around the Hobbit. Now Her Majesty is getting to big to tuck under my chin, too! *sniff-sniff*
Sandy, happy to have made you laugh. The number one reason I stop to tweet about the kids’ antics is that in those moments between dealing with what happened and sitting down to write about it, perspective happens. It becomes funny as I figure out how to frame it.
As to wishing a child just like her upon Her Majesty, I have already determined she will be the first mother-to-be in history to receive a screwdriver set at a baby shower. She’s going to need them if she has a child just as speedy with an affinity for locking herself in rooms where she shouldn’t be.
Lindy, it would appear you are in a similar boat, one headed to Crazyville. That’s great advice from your Mom and advice I believe I’ve heard from my own. (She does a lot of nodding and smiling these days, giving me the impression that paybacks are, well, you know)
I have also made a note: no pet doors.
Debbie, that’s a great part of it. I have ideas and I write them down so I can read a story or start supper, then I forget what I did with the notebook. I’ll think of what I need to do to fix a section, then have to switch out the laundry and totally forget what it was.
I just think of me, the uber organized student, and I have to laugh. I maintain it’s best to throw out all last vestiges of perfectionism the minute your first pregnancy test comes back positive.
Linsey, do tell me what I would do without you? Yes, for those who would like to catch up on the antics of the Kilpatrick family, I periodically write down what happens at http://www.superwritermom.blogspot.com
Just scroll past the entry on waxing–that one wasn’t about the kiddos. ; )
Sally,
I love your post and Her Majesty is precious. And yes, she does look just like you.
In my house growing up, I was known as a Space Cadet. I guess it’s because my mind was always in the clouds, working on creative projects, reading, etc. not focused on the mundane, here and now (doing my jobs around the house,etc.). At work, I am very organized and focused, otherwise I’m on a different plane, which I think is appropriate for a writer.
Yesterday, I was talking to my mother, who just got one of those buttons seniors wear around their necks so they can call for assistance if they need it, and after one day, she lost it. So, I guess it runs in the family.
Actually, both of my daughters are very capable, successful businesswomen but when it comes to everyday living, one of them loses her cellphone constantly, never worries about nonwork deadlines, etc. but she seems to get by. She’s more of a free spirit off the job. So I guess that’s one way of coping with the stresses of life.
Oh Sally, maybe I’m crazy but I do miss those days. Especially the snuggle time. Now my big guys are constantly out the door, one with car keys in hand.
I agree with Lindy’s Mom, This too will pass. Just squeeze every moment you can out if this time. It’s great that your writing these precious memories down, otherwise they might slip away.
Sally,
Thoroughly enjoyed the post! I always had nieces and nephews coming down and loved it, of course it was nice to see the tail lights going out the drive way at times. Now they are all grown and I do miss them. I’d still rock each one though if they’d let me.
Oh, Sally, did this post bring back memories! I think the record was the time my youngest managed to unload the dishwasher all over the kitchen floor, throw the clean and folded laundry all over the living room, unroll all the toilet paper and lock us out of the bathroom, all in the space of about 10 minutes — and he wasn’t even walking yet! Now they’re teens and it’s not a whole lot better, it’s just different stuff. But sometimes I still miss them being little, especially the in-the-lap story times.
Do write everything down. Not only does it make wonderful memories and great story material, but it also gives you ammunition to embarrass them in front of future dates and mates!
Her Majesty and my 6 year old may share some distant genetic lineages. These two should be kept permanently separated for national security.
Marilyn, thank you! And, yes, I call her my mini-me. *poises little finger to the side of her mouth*
It sounds as though I would fit in well with your family. Losing things is one of the things I do best. Fortunately, I’m also pretty darn good at finding them.
I think my frustration stems from all the things I used to do–keeping up with classes and homework or teaching classes and assigning homework OR doing both at the same time–and now that I’m home I sometimes have trouble remembering my own name!
But, hey, space cadets unite!
Sia, as crazy as they make me, I already miss some things. And we have snuggle time every morning. Even if I’m running late.
The other night, I crammed The Hobbit into the recliner with me and read HIM a Dr. Seuss book. He found that amusing, considering he’s almost as tall as I am and already reads on a high school level. ; )
Maxine, I know what you’re saying. I pulled The Hobbit into my lap the other day and tried to fold him into a pretzel like I did when he was three or four. He almost clocked me with his size 8 (men’s) feet.
Nothing doing but try to write down all the stuff the kiddos do. I’ll either steal it or use it as blackmail!
EC, that is quite a record and sounds like something Her Majesty would do. Whirling dervish is the term, I believe.
Jenni, so you’re thinking getting them together to go fishing would be a BAD idea? You may have something. It might be like Pinky and the Brain–only with two Brains.
But wait, there’s more: There aren’t words. There just aren’t words. yfrog.com/kjuo6wj
Sally,
I so remember those time. I could spend a whole entire day at home and go to bed asking myself, “What did I accomplish?” Enjoy it while you can these days pass fast.
ROFLMAO!
Wonder where she gets those naked tendencies??? Huh, mini-me?
Tami
Wait, you’re NOT supposed to let them run around naked? I was told it helps with potty training. Although I now believe someone was pulling a fast one on me.
To answer the Hobbit’s question, Sesame Street lies at the intersection of the 1, 2, A, and B subways. Looking at the current map, pretty much the only place that’s possible is Columbus Circle near Central Park. Although the actual filming is done in Queens.
So, yes. I do not get writing done because I am spending too much time contemplating all things Sesame Street.
Susan, I wonder exactly what I do just about every day. I’ve decided I am maid, cook, chief story teller, boo-boo kisser, dispute arbitrator, laundress, finger wagger, mail go getter, bill payer, Barbie doll dresser, action figure surgeon, and secretary. I do about 84% of that well.
Oh, Tami, I’m a writer. I prefer to expose myself through the written word.
Funny post, Sally! I enjoy hearing about the antics on FB and Twitter as well. Can’t believe you’re also heading up M&M. Overload!
Thanks for the smile today.
Oh, Julie. I wish I could give you the secret to potty training, but it doesn’t exist. To paraphrase Westley in The Princess Bride, anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something.
Thanks for the info on Sesame Street. I’ll let the big man chew on that for a while. ; )
Thanks, Carol! And today we did the water colors on our feet bit–shame that didn’t make it into the post proper.
As to M&M, that will get really fun around August when, blessedly, both children will be in school.
Funny post, Sally! And you have inspired me to write a similar post on the woes of parenting teens to my personal blog. I am going to link to your post here, too!
Thanks, Pam! I can’t wait to read your post. I used to teach high school so I have some vague notion of the trials and tribulations of teenagers. Of course, I’m sure parenting will be completely different.