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Reevaluation of My Career and Job Choices
Choices, Choices
Some people will read this post and think I’m a complete bitch for even whining about this problem. Others will be
annoyed because for most people it would be a blessing. Me? I’m at a point where I have to make a decision or lose out on one or the other opportunity.
My family started out the 2011 year Reevaluating every part of our lives. A few of the things we’ve tackled so far are:
1) The too big house (see post about the beginning of our reevaluation process)
2) The nonexistent budget
3) The clutter that has invaded our lives and home
4) Our diet habits and exercise routines (or lack of)
5) Our attempts to reconnect as a family
These topics alone are pretty damn heavy. Hubby, The Kidd and I have really made some big adjustments as we strive to create a balance in our everyday lives. But this month, the reevaluation has been all about me.
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Four years ago I stood at a crossroad. The company I worked for was closing and I had a chance to retrain for another career field. I took the opportunity to go back to college and was offered a coveted Co-op position with a large company. This opportunity resulted in the best job I’ve ever had. I now make almost twice the amount of what was once my dream salary. I like the people I work with and love the work I do.
So why am I stressing about the choices I now have to make?
Recently I’ve been approached with more training opportunities which the company will gladly pay for. These opportunities will set me up to eventually take on a bigger supervisory role with the company. Cool position to be in, huh?
Yes and no
Yes because I’ve been offered the opportunity to eventually make a six figure salary. SIX FIGURES! After growing up literally “trailer trash,” I NEVER thought this could be possible.
No because I’m already in a training program. I have a list of classes I’m required to take and a job that is already overwhelming more often than not. Also, I’ve seen the number of hours the supervisors work. Going home at 3:30 and having my weekends to spend with my family is rather nice. This program would take up most of my ‘free’ time, taking me away from my family and my writing. THEN if I do get a supervisory position, nothing would change. I’d go from studying for school all the time to working long hours with no down time.
No time to write
Writing is more than just a passion for me. It is, in fact, an obsession. Because of the amount of work, I’ve spent the last four years with my writing on hold. If I jump into this new program, I’m stuck in this same position. More school, more studying, and no time to write.
Sounds crazy huh?
This is where my problem with choices comes into play .jpg "a-hour-glass-212x300")
Do I see myself pushing myself to excel in a position I love, but that would definitely take away most of my free time?
Or do I continue as I am, taking bits and pieces of time for myself while easing back into the writing world? With this option, I’ll still enjoy the benefits I’m already receiving on my new career path.
Choices, choices
I do worry those training opportunities won’t be there in the future. I also know I can write a book at any age.
Even though this is supposed to be the month where I choose a path that will make me happy, I haven’t quite made up my mind. Until I’ve weighed every possibility I won’t rush this decision. So it looks like you’ll have to wait until my recap in November to see the choice I make.
Have you ever stood at a crossroad in your life and worried about making the wrong choice? When you did choose, did you regret the choice you made?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. So, I’m giving away a $10 Amazon card to one lucky commenter.
Come back Friday, July 15th to see why my kitchen timer has become my new best friend.
On another note, I’m participating with over 250 other blogs in a Midsummer’s Eve Blog Hop where we are all giving away book/reading related prizes. Hop on over and take a look. Even if you don’t enter all 250, take a moment and enter mine. Who doesn’t love Amazon or Starbucks??? .png "Wink"){kind=small}
by Tami Brothers
44 comments
I think you’re a doer and it’s hard to say no to anything this exciting because it is exciting to reach this level after all the hard work you’ve put into it. Writing is something you can do at any age, and it is something you can do a “bit at a time.” Even a half an hour a day can produce a book in a year. But writing isn’t the hard part, it’s the networking, contest entry preparation, querying, trying to get published that is hard. And that requires the brain time you’ll put into the courses/training. So maybe another way to evaluate this decision is to ask yourself how much time do you want to put into trying to get published and will this interfere or does seeking publication matter? Ask yourself how many hours you’re volunteering versus working/writing, too. Then make your decision.
And congratulations! This is a GOOD place to be in! Way to go!
I love your picture of the crossroads and it brings to mind the poem about the road not taken. In your case, you can’t make a bad decision. Both options have upsides. But I can tell you that one of my daughters is wrestling with that same problem. She’s currently working at least 12-hour to 14-hour days at a six-figure salary job, but it’s not a pace she would want to keep up. It’s not a good quality of life and it is a certain path to burnout even at her young age. I would have said you should choose the first path but seeing what that path is doing to her makes me think the less stressful path is the one to take. You probably already know what you want to do, it’s just a question of acting on it. I wish you luck in your choice.
Tami, I like the Robert Frostian picture, too. That’s a favorite poem of mine. I feel for your dilemma. I have not had an offer like yours, but could push for such a position, if I wanted it. I also see managers working long hours and flying all over the world. The money and the security are a big temptation. The only price – give up your life.
I think you need to follow your heart. Carefully examine your feelings, desires, fears. Make a list of pros and cons for each choice. Something will jump out and tell you which way to go.
As a proponent of indie publishing, I’d also suggest you take one of your best short stories and publish it for free on Smashwords. Seeing how the reading public reacts to your work is very different from submitting to an editor or agent. It’s a mind-altering experience that will give you a taste of what it’s like to be published. Either it will whet your appetite for more or satisfy it. And that will give you more information about yourself to make your decision.
I would never, EVER think of you, dearest Tami, as a bitch. You’ve got to be one of the sweetest, most thoughtful people I know!! I luv ya, and I’m THRILLED, THRILLED you finished school, proved to yourself you can go the extra mile and earned a great position and a fabulous pay raise in the process. You rock!
I bow to women like you. You’re a mother, a wife, a homemaker, a writer and a go getter. You are the standard by which all women should be measured.
I’m truly and honestly thrilled for you and all of your accomplishments. I’m sure you can realize that the choice you must make is not bitchy or crazy. We all find ourselves at a crossroad at one time or another, and whatever the reason or experience that brought us there, we are all individuals, with individual thoughts, motivations, goals, dreams. Our experiences have shaped us and made us the characters we are. And we are the only ones who can truly suffer through or delight in the choices we must make.
I beleive, though you might not see it, that you already know the answer to your question. It’s right there in your post. Your sub conscious mind is swaying toward family, writing, and a little extra time. At least that’s how I see it
Sure you can write at any age, but your children r only children 4 a short time, & time is more precious than material goods in the long run.
U R a strong, smart, amazing woman. No matter wich path u choose, I know you will find greatness.
I am in awe of you, and always will be.
A big hug is waiting for you the next time I see u!
Have a brilliant, productive day!
Tamara
Tami,
First I’m glad you realize this is an opportunity. And an honor that your company has such faith in you.
Second, there are several strategies you can use. The pros and cons list, Linsey suggested is good.
The older I get, the more I live not to have regrets. I sit quietly and commune with God. I imagine my life in the future. (Being writers we are gifted with good imaginations.) Then I ask myself, will I have regrets if I don’t do path A? Path B?
Whatever decision you come to, I hope you’re happy. Hugs!
Wow. I don’t think you’re whiny or a bitch at all. I just think it’s sad that our society has moved to a point where so many jobs requiring selling your soul–but that’s another discussion for another day.
I’d take both Sia’s approach and Linsey’s approach. I make pro and con lists and then I pray. A lot. I find folks whose advice I trust–my husband, my mother–and I weigh that advice carefully.
I chose to stay at home for both the kids and my writing career. Often I’m frustrated by my inability to keep the house clean and to get more written and submitted–it requires a great deal more discipline than I’ve managed to cultivate. And the ever-important ability to say NO to all the people who think you have a surplus of time now that you don’t have a “job.”
That said, I’m probably too hard on myself. In 2010, I finished my Masters, wrote a thesis and wrote 2 entire novels. So far in 2011, I’m about 10,000 words from finishing another novel. (The house is still a disaster area, and the kids are watching TV as we speak)
So, you have to do what is right for you and for your family. I’m in the middle of a time of reassessment myself. I’m looking for ways to better structure my time, to be more productive, and to spend more quality time with my family. (If only my kids understood that most of my time in front of the computer is my version of working!)
Good luck! I’ll pray for guidance for you, and I’m sure the right decision will come to you because you have been so conscientious in where you are in your life and where you’d like to go.
Tami,
Oh you whiny bitch – JUST KIDDING!! I apologize and apologize people. This is serious and I know it, but Tami knows I just couldn’t resist.
If I wrote as good as Tamara, I would have written just what she did. I have told you several times that you are such an amazing woman. You juggle so many, many things in your life, yet you smile and offer to help others.
You can’t make a wrong decision. You’re brilliant! One of the things I try in your situation is to imagine my best friend is saying all this to me and that SHE has to make the decision. Don’t we all know the advice we would give to someone else? But looking in the mirror it is so hard to find the words. Rather than tell you my advice, you are the only one that can make the decision. And like Sally says, turn it over to God. You’ll get your answer.
Hey Tami,
What an exciting crossroad! I can think of several nasty crossroads that I’d hate to see you standing before. At least in this one, you’ll win one way or the other…even though you must give up time doing some of the things you love.
I know the decision has to be your own, but how do the men in your life feel? Would The Kidd feel you’re choosing a job…..or writing…over him? How about hubby? Discuss the plus and minus with them…especially hubby. More more to get out of debt faster, more money to pay for college, etc for The Kidd, but less family time.
How many years are you willing to commit to the promotion and increased stress & time commitment? Five? Ten? Until you retire?
When I was faced with a similar situation in Calif, I discussed everything with hubby, prayed like there was no tomorrow, and finally felt at peace with my decision.
Good luck
Wow, Tami; I don’t know what to add to this conversation that hasn’t already been said better than I would. Just trust your gut and believe that everything will turn out for the best. You are a rock star in my book!
Tami,
I was just out for an appointment and heard on the radio a new study that said women are working longer hours than men and that many people are now taking their work home with them on the weekend. Just something to throw out there. I have no doubt you are up to any challenge so that’s not the issue and you can write when you’re older (I’m living proof of that) but I wish I had started earlier. Anyway, we are very proud of you, whichever road you take.
rpoud
Tami, any chance you can have your cake and eat it, too, by postponing this next career move for a year? If the company would offer you the same opportunity in a year’s time, you could use the intervening months to get into an efficient work mode, spend quality time with family, and pursue your writing. Then when things are more balanced, this decision might not seem so drastic.
Of course, I know it’s always dangerous to turn down a good work offer because you’re afraid it might not come around again.
Good luck with this very difficult decision!
Sorry, I don’t have any advice, since no one has ever offered me a job with a huge amount of responsibility and money.
I’m sure you’ll do great on whichever path you choose. Good luck!
Does one choice FEEL better than the other? I’m pretty sure I know which path I’d take just based off of the reasons you stated. Don’t use the thinking that you’ll have time later to do what you really love, because later will be here and gone before you know it. Not to mention no one knows what will happen tomorrow.. or even the next hour. If you feel secure in where you are now, would it be worth sacrificing what you love doing and spending time with your loved ones for a six digit income? Remember what the wise Notorious B.I.G said.. “Mo money, mo problems.”
I’m sure you’ll make the right choice for you. Good luck!
Hi Tami,
I’m new to this blog so I don’t have any idea about who you are or what you’ve been through in the past – no preconceived notions.
I feel that everyone in the world has been before crossroads {and we should never judge someone else’s situation because what is seen as a dramatic and terrifying situation to them could be seen as a blessing to someone else} and everyone in the world has made decisions when faced with crossroads that they have regretted.
The past two years of my life, I have made more life changing decisions that I ever have before. I’m sure some were the “right” decisions to make and some were “wrong” – although I’m not sure what qualifies a decision that I made with my brain and my heart as wrong because regardless of the results, I did what I thought was best at the time and I will make it through whatever comes as a consequence of my choice!
Blog readers are wonderful, but no one can advise you the way those closest to you can.
Good luck with your decisions and no matter what, no regrets.
Peach
barefootpeach @ gmail dot com
Choosing a career path was hard for me. I got all the way the to student teaching and realized that I hated it. I don’t regret changing my major. Good luck with your choice. Thanks for the giveaway.
marlenebreakfield(at)yahoo(dot)com
Oh yeah. I’ve been there. Crossroads is saying good bye to a publisher and taking those books out on their own. It’s sink or swim. Fortunately, my books are swimming like Michael Phelps, but for a while I was terrified of drowning. I’m still terrified of drowning!
I think it’s the nature of humans to question everything. Our decisions. Our lives. Jobs. Family. Responsibilities. Desires. Dreams. Goals. It’s hard to be smart about responsibilities when passion is knocking on the door. I think you either dive into a new direction out of necessity or become comfortable enough with the decision to change direction. I’ve always found pro con lists helpful.
Whatever you decide, good luck!
I’m actually right where you are at the moment. Hope you can reach a decision that will feel right for you – it’s cliche but listen to what your heart wants most. No need to put me in the drawing – just wanted to comment.
This would definately be a hard decision. You need to evaluate what your heart says and definately take into consideration everyone else that will be affected (family). While a great career is very nice, it is not the most important thing in the world. Your health, happiness, and family & friends are much more important. Good luck with this decision.
Tami,
It is nice to have great opportunities. I have no great advice other than to think about where you want to be in 5 years, 10. Will it wait 5 years to when your son is grown? Does you husband mind? And the biggest one of all-How bad to you want to be a writer?
I’ve not help I know. I trust you to make the right decission. If you close this door another will open. That I know for a fact.
Sorry for being MIA today!!!! It has been one crazy crazy day.
Hi Christine!!! Excellent advice. I had not thought about thinking about the time I want to put into getting published. I’ve always thought of how much I have already put into. I pride myself on being a glass is half full type of person. Until this very second I had not realized that stressing about the time I’ve put in already was kind of a negative way to think. I like this Idea, Christine. And thank you. I love reading your weight loss journey. Have fun in New York!!!
Tami
Hi Marilyn! I wish your daughter all the best. I have a friend who burnt herself out at 25. She has had a tough time getting back into the routine of working again. I’m sure she will do great and make the right decisions. She has a smart mother who we all know will be there for whatever decision she makes. I’m going to definitely take the quality of life suggestion to heart.
About the taking stuff home to work on, don’t look in the bag at my feet. I’ve got another two hours worth of stuff to do after I finish commenting… Doing this so I don’t have to do it this weekend…
Definitely something to think about…
Thanks!!!
Tami
Hi Linsey! I do love that poem. The flying everywhere is kind of one of the perks of the new position. I LOVE to travel, so that would be fun. I’m not sure if the constant travel would be eventually get old, but it would be a lot of time away from the family. Awesome idea on the list. I’ve been mulling everything around in my head and have not really put it to paper.
Great idea with the story. I’m working on two that I’m planning to submit to a couple of novella calls. If that doesn’t work, I might look into the Smashwords idea. Thanks for the great advice.
Tami
Hi Tamara!!! LOVE you girl. Hugs are ALWAYS accepted. Thank you so much for all the great things you said. You truly make me feel like Superwoman (have my Superwoman picture posted above my bookcase in my office – thank you!!! ).
You know, I read though this post again tonight and had honestly NOT realized how close I was leaning toward the writing choice. I really thought I was spinning both ideas equally. But now that you’ve pointed that out, I am taking a harder look at where exactly I am leaning.
I totally agree about the children being young only once. Today was a perfect example of that when The Kidd went for his swimming pictures. Hubby had to take him to the doctor to get treatment for his swimmer ear (WTH is that all about??? Had no idea there was a swimmers ear), then took him to Academy Sports to get the right colored swim trunks, then took him to get his team pictures taken. I was stuck at work and not able to get there until the very end because a last minute meeting was scheduled that I couldn’t miss.. Kind of made me sad…
Thanks so much for coming over and commenting. I always value your opinions and your friendship.
Tami
Hey Sia!!! I promise I’m going to make one of those write-ins… Thanks so much for your patience with me.
Again, you guys amaze me. I think I’ve thought of everything, hashed out everything, worked through all the problems. Then you come up with the thought of regrets. Had not thought of that and there are so many things to regret with either choice that don’t all associate with the jobs. More to add to my list. THANK YOU!!!
~Hugs back~
Tami
Hey Sally girl!!!!! You are someone who has a ton of stuff going on. You and I both need to join YSA – Yes Sayers Anonymous…grin… I’ve gotten better at it. Of course, I’ve switched gears and now have to learn the work NO at work. Lots of special projects always needing done…
Your 2010 was awesome! You have done so much and I can’t wait to see your name on the published list. I also can’t wait to read your books. LOVE, LOVE your voice.
I’m praying. Should probably pray more. I thank you for yours. Enjoy these last few months of conference craziness. It will be soooooo nice when you get to pass on that baton…grin… Keep up the great work.
Tami
LOL Maxine!!!!! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you. My BFF and critique partner. Your opinion is always treasured. And you really made me laugh. After the day I had, I needed that.
I like the idea of looking at it from a friend’s POV. I do think I give good advice (don’t we all…grin…), so maybe I can find some good advice for myself. Thank you so much for giving me this pep talk.
Tami
Hey Sandy! I do feel like both choices would be a win in completely different areas. I also see the negative in each as well. Hubby and I have talked about this a little bit. He has encouraged me to do whatever makes me happiest. Of course the money would be good, but he works in a similar position and knows that the supervisor route is not something he wants for himself. So he understands my misgivings about taking that step.
I LOVE the idea of taking into account how many years I would be willing to give it. Thank you for the great advice. I have a lot to pray about this week.
Tami
Hey Pam!!! Thank you. I love reading your blog and I see the excitement and enthusiasm you have for your passions with the piano, beading and even writing. You do so much, along with raising some wonderful boys (recent antics aside..grin…). I am reminded of the excitement I had in the beginning and I’m hopeful that I could one day see that again. Thanks for stopping by!!!
Tami
HI JB!!! I am looking into the possibility of postponing it. That would be the ultimate. I’m hesitant on it though because we are going through a huge retirement push and the company is doing another push to get the next generation up and going. So, I’m not sure if the opportunity would be there or even if there would be a bigger, better one. I’m not the best gambler (would rather spend the money on a nice shirt instead of feeding the coins into the slot machines…grin…
Thanks so much for stopping by. I do value all the suggestions I’ve received.
Tami
Hi BSnow!!! No worries on the advice. I’m thrilled you stopped by and left a comment. It is always nice to hear/read a friendly post. I send good vibes that one day you will get a much better offer than even this… (at least with the money
).Thanks again for visiting the blog. We hope to see you again.
Tami
Hi Christy!!! Thanks so much for stopping by. I honestly haven’t trusted my gut feeling on this because I really do know which choice I want to follow. I just keep playing the What If game…grin.. LOVE that phrase. Definitely fitting. The “mo problems” are definitely obvious even in the position I’m in now.
You are spot on with the idea of not knowing what will happen tomorrow or even an hour from now. I had my plans completely changed today out of the blue. Although it wasn’t anything very serious, it does make a person think.
Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment!!!
Tami
Hi Peach!!!! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the website! Idratherbebarefoot.com is very cool. Love the site, too. I checked out those coupons and bookmarked your blog. Thanks so much for stopping by.
Excellent advice. Definitely heart felt. I like that. “although I’m not sure what qualifies a decision that I made with my brain and my heart as wrong because regardless of the results, I did what I thought was best at the time and I will make it through whatever comes as a consequence of my choice!” I’m going to post this quote by my computer. It seems so simple and something we should know, but it’s also something so easily forgotten.
Thanks for stopping by. I do appreciate you coming over.
Tami
Hey Marlene!!! I can definitely relate to the student teaching thing. I actually worked as a substitute teacher on my off days from class and knew within the first month I was headed down the wrong path. Wow, had not thought of that in a long time. Definitely adding that to my list.
Thanks a ton for stopping by!!!
Tami
Hi Selena!!! I LOVE Michael Phelps…grin… Also love your website. Your fan page is incredibly cool. I’ll have to look into that.
Thanks so much for stopping by. I’m thrilled for your success. It’s great knowing that this step does offer success. A couple of the PF&HT blog authors are looking into that and have even dipped their toes into the waters.
Smart advice. Another quote to add to my wall. “I think it’s the nature of humans to question everything. Our decisions. Our lives. Jobs. Family. Responsibilities. Desires. Dreams. Goals. It’s hard to be smart about responsibilities when passion is knocking on the door. I think you either dive into a new direction out of necessity or become comfortable enough with the decision to change direction.”
Thanks so much for stopping by!!!
Tami
Hi Leslie!!! I wish you the very best in your decision. It’s a good position to be in. I am thankful I’m in this kind of position instead of the scary one I experienced four years ago when the plant closed… Not fun. Thanks so much for stopping by. And THANK YOU for commenting. We hope to see you back again!
Tami
Hi June!!! Great advice. I think if I was single or if The Kidd was older, I wouldn’t think twice. Hubby would gladly come along for the ride (his words…grin…). You guys are really making me thing tonight.
Thanks for stopping by! Hope to see ya again.
Tami
Hi Susan!!! Congrats, congrats, congrats! Sorry, had to say it again… Snoopy dancing…
You ask the tough questions… You are a huge help. I think you’re the best example of overcoming some of the hard things life throws at you. I always think of a passage you wrote in Nick’s New Heart where you talked about sitting in Nick’s hospital room sewing the kids’ Halloween costumes. You have always been great at making the best of everything. Thank you!
Tami
Thank you to all those who came out and shared their opinions and experience. Your thoughts and suggestions are greatly appreciated. I have a lot of soul searching, praying and list making to do.
Now, to announce the winner of the $10 Amazon gift card. Using the wonderful Randomizer.com, the winner of the $10 Amazon gift card is ~~~
Peach @ idratherbebarefoot.com!!!
Again, thank you all for participating!!!
Tami
Hey Tami. Sorry I’m weighing in a day late. Yesterday was nuts! I am familiar with the proverbial “fork” and I quite often find it pokes you in the butt! *laughing* Seriously, when my challenge hit me broadside in December I had to decide whether or not to panic and throw Red in daycare so I could get a full time job and pay the mortgage, or remain calm, start building an alternate business and stay home as much as possible with her to get her through her father leaving. I chose to stay home. It’s been six months and she’s just now starting to feel better and “act normal” again. I chose to be here so I could sit in the floor and cry with her, kick and scream with her, and answer the call of “mommy” whenever I was needed. I don’t regret it. Now, I’m at that freakin’ fork again! Ah, life. Anyway, I get it and though I cannot make your choices for you and can say quality of life renders more joy than money or fame. Pretty Zen of me, don’t you think? Love you sweetie. Good luck. – Lindy
Holy moly! I won!!! That is soooooo awesome!!
More important than winning {as awwwesome as that is!} is what you said about liking what I said! All we can hope for every day is to affect even just one person positively.
Thank you for hosting the giveaway! ♥
Making a decision now doesn’t mean that you can’t make others later. We always look at situations like they are the end of the road. Would making more money free you up to do things you want to do in say 3-5 years? I was unfortunate that I was in a terrible job but I stuck it out for six years, saved some money and now I’m able to devote time to writing, looking after my granddaughter and doing things I wasn’t able to previously do because of a stressful job. What helps me is to write down a goal and a plan to get to that goal. Decisions are tough, but if you have a goal in mind it helps.
Good luck.
Ann
Hey Lindy! No problem on being late. Love having you stop by. You are very strong to do what you do and to have gone through what you have. I. Love you your description of sitting on the floor with your daughter and cry, kick or scream with her. We all need that person in our lives. I love your zenness. Am definitely adding this to my lis.
Thanks for coming over.
Tami.
Hi Peach! Than YOU for commenting. We love hearing from our readers. Especially when they share their enthusiasm.
I do love your site and the name. Makes me think about hangin out at the beach..grin…
I’ll shoot you an email as soon as I get home with your code. Hope you enjoy it!!!
Tami.
Hi Ann!!! Excellent point. This is one of the reasons the decision is so hard because I’ve been in that position where there was no job and the possibility of one seemed so far into the future.
Someone pointed me over to Stephani Bond’s website and her information on creating a life list. In it is a suggestion to plan out those 5 and 10 year goals. It will take some work and time, but I’m going to incorporate all the wonderful advice into some of the life list suggestions she makes. Should be enlightning.
Thanks so ,uch for stopping by and commenting. We love hearing from our readers!
Have a terrific weekend!
Tami