.jpg)
By: Sandra Elzie
How many of us like to be criticized? How many of us don’t handle it well when someone blasts our best efforts?
Well, all of us can take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
You want sunshine and get rain? Go ahead and complain…the weather is what the weather is regardless of what we rant about it.
My granddaughter’s coach gave them a pep-talk before a swimming competition one Saturday and told them that whoever was going to win the meet would win it. He said that all he asked was that each and every one of them do their very best. He reminded them that looking behind to see who was trailing them (or catching up to them), or looking to the right or left to see who was even with them, would only cost them concentration and fractions of seconds that would probably cost them a metal. He told them to power-through to the end…until they touched the wall (in our discussion of swimming), or until the finish line is crossed, or, in the life of writers, until you get the first, or next contract.
If someone gives you a critique that suggests corrections or improvements, when what you would have liked to get was a pat on the back for a fantastically written piece of work, do you sulk or do you thank them and get back to work? In other words, do you accept what amounts to criticism of your work and move on, or do you let it slow you down and cost you a win?
We all have the capability to win…and the ability to lose. The choice…and it IS a choice…is when you either ignore the criticism and move on or when you sit down and pout, feeling no one understands or appreciates your work or doubting that it’s good enough to ever get published. Honestly, if you ask someone to lend a hand (or critique your work), she is a friend if she tells you the truth, but an enemy if she lies to you and tells you what she thinks you want to hear. Enemies slow you down, but friends will help get you to the finish line faster.
You want a contract when you send your proposal to a publisher, but all you get is a rejection letter? Take a lesson from the weather. Get up tomorrow and do your thing again and don’t let yesterday’s criticism phase you. Inside every one of us is the ability to win…we can all be winners if we chose to be…..so act like one. Come on team, let’s pull out all the stops, toss out all the negative self-talk and let’s aim for the goal!
by Sandy Elzie
22 comments
This post reflects my personal attitude about the writing journey. Every no is a yes to learning more and becoming a better writer. I want to be recognized for my writing when it is the right time.
Great post!
Sandy,
Wonderful pep talk with concrete examples (your granddaughter’s swim team).If every writer gave up because he/she was rejected, readers would be deprived of some great books.
Christine,
I love how you see every “no” as a “yes” in learning something. And, girl, when the time is right and you’re recognized for your writing, we’ll be right there along side you, cheering you on and cheering your success!
Hi Marilyn,
Yes, team sports can teach us a lot. Some feel that writing is a solitary gig, but, in fact, it’s much more fun if you’re part of a team…to keep you encouraged, keep you focused on the goal and to clink glasses with you when success happens.
I needed a good pep talk this morning. Thanks. I couldn’t agree with you more.
Susan,
That’s great praise from a lady who didn’t let negative and rejection hold you back…and you finished in style!
Thanks for the inspiration and the analogy, Sandy. I’ll think of it next time it storms.
Writing is hard, hard work and some people who criticize don’t realize how difficult it is to keep plugging away at it, day in and day out. Others, in their zeal to be helpful, just point out the negative. I think we’re all prone to do that when we look at the work of another writer, whether it’s our critique partner or Nora Roberts. The best critiques, imo, tell you what your strengths are so you can capitalize on them, and also tell you where your weaknesses are and how to improve them.
We’re sensitive beings, so criticism will always hurt to some degree. But next time I feel that way, I’m going to spin myself into a tornado, like your picture, and just keep going.
Thanks, Sandy.
Linsey,
You’ve brought up a great point. We, as critique partners, need to be honest…BUT WITH TACT. You’re right that some people don’t seem to have learned the finer points of tact.
I also like to think about the little train that chugged up the hill….”I think I can. I think I can.” Self-talk has a lot of power.
I’m with Christine, I think constructive critism is a chance to learn and hopefully improve. My frustration is when I can’t understand what the critiquers message is telling me. That’s stops me trying to figure it out. That’s why it’s important to have someone you can trust with your work.
Great pep talk as I try to get back into my MS. Thanks, Sandy.
A couple years ago I entered a contest & the judge’s comments weren’t that helpful…one of them didn’t even make sense. Yes, it helps a great deal to have someone you trust giving you advice–someone you can turn around and ask questions of if you don’t understand a point.
Good post, Sandy,
I really agree with you. I’ve always told whoever critiques my work that my shoulders are big and I can take it. I REALLY want to know where they see a need for improvement – and where I have totally wiped out. I will always try again!
I must admit to wanting to bite off the heads of people who are super critical of my writing. I didn’t say it was a good thing, just true. Some of us have weak spots in our confidence and and some folks don’t understand how to say negative things on ways that make them easier to take.
I love the comments about things happening for a reason and windows opening when doors close. Some days I believe. Other days I need Sandy’s words and those of the other ladies here. (grin)
Some of us should either read for errors before hitting send or NOT check for mistakes after we hit send.
Some of us have weak spots in our confidence, and some folks don’t understand how to say negative things in ways that make them easier to take.
Thanks for the pep talk, Sandy. Reminds me of the scene in the movie Under The Tuscan Sun where the realtor tells Francis about the tracks that were laid over the mountain – long before a train existed that could make the trek. We have to keep striving in our writing – knowing that one day the skill will be there to tell the stories in our hearts.
Outstanding peptalk– no criticisms here. Your metaphor about the weather is fun- nature is impervious and I certainly could use a thicker skin.
Great post, Sandy. We all really need an inspiring pep talk every once in a while and this is one that really makes a person realize that if they are failing, it is because they are letting their actions be swayed by negativity they get from someone else. I LOVE that you point out it is OUR choice how we let this either pull us down or kick us in the pants to do better.
Thanks for sharing this. I know I’m one of those who really needed to hear it.
Tami
Hi Brenda,
Thanks! I like to think I also have broad shoulders, but we all shudder when we’re critiqued…we just have to realize that our friends want us to succeed…AND all criticism is subjective.
Mary,
LOL Is it the teacher in you that makes you check it over after it posts? (I do the same thing and always get irritated at myself when I see an error) Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Darcy,
Good Point! “We have to keep striving in our writing – knowing that one day the skill will be there to tell the stories in our hearts.”
Great thought.
Laura,
Thanks for dropping by and commenting.
I think we all need thicker skins at times (whether we’re writers or just in life)
Tami
Oh my, we all need a good kick in the pants occasionally (with tact and love, of course) Thanks for the comments.
Sandy, my friend, thanks for the kick in the pants. Smooches – Lindy