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Have you ever watched little boys play? It’s fascinating to see little men in the making. Nature versus nurture takes on a whole new meaning when you are the one adult/female force in a room full of little men. Here are some observations I’ve made:
Using Words. When men want something they typically ask, right? When little men want something they handle things a little differently – they grunt. Sounds sort of primitive, but I find this to be true of men in training. They may not articulate what they want, but they will certainly take your hand and pull you to what it is they desire then grunt until you say the magic words, “You want (fill in the blank)?” Then they nod, satisfied that you understand until you say, “No.” Because what they want is always something that they cannot have.
Hugging. Funny, but I think this is the only time in a man-to-be’s life that he is actually open to the whole “emoting” thing. Unfortunately, at the tender age of one/two, when two boys hug it usually turns into a full scale WWE elimination event, cage and all. I digress, a one year old who has less motor function than that of a two year old but is nearly twice his size can be cause for potential concussion. I really think this is where men lose their sense of intimacy. Beginning at a very young age, we tell them “not to do that because they could hurt someone.” It’s our fault. We’re programming them all wrong.
Sharing. He who dies with the most toys wins. Enough said.
Needing Attention. Another fascinating study in men-to-be. Unlike using words, needing attention requires only one signal. It takes a subtle hang of the head, a single tear, and the all important, “Mommeeeee” to grab a woman’s attention. Once you hear the high-pitched “eeeeee” you know that a little man’s heart is aching and all he wants is the doting attention of the only woman in the room. Just pray it’s not to nurse. I’m just sayin’.
Food. If it’s mine it’s mine. If it’s yours it’s mine. If it’s the teacher’s, I hope she brought enough to share with everybody because she’s the one with the good stuff.
Romance. After I started this job I was blessed with the addition of one little girl to our class. She’s tall, tiny as a twig, and has lots and lots of personality. Funny, I think this holds true throughout the lives of both boys and girls – when there is only one girl to impress, all the boys are out to win her heart and when you are the only girl, the boys are that much more fun to play with. That goes for teachers too.
Have you observed the interactions of little men and their environments? Noticed some of the same behaviors? Want to share your own?
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by Lindy Chaffin Start
I work in Early Childhood, so I am well versed in little men. One day 3 boys were chasing a little girl, making her scream. So I empowered the little girl. I told her to stand, (they can’t chase you if you stand still) turn to face the boys, put her hand up in a STOP motion & say in a clear, firm voice “I don’t like that game”. The boys came to a dead stop & just asked her if she wanted to dig in the sandpit. It had not occurred to them that the little girl had not enjoyed the first game, but they quickly processed it & moved on.
Lindy, great observations you have there. I taught 2-year-old preschool one year, and I agree with all you’ve said–especially the food part. The little guys–and gals–were less than understanding of the concept of “adult food.”
My biggest revelation was that preschool and high school were remarkably similar. Less ‘tude from the 2-year-olds, believe it or not, and no worries about diapers from the teenagers. Often, it was a toss up as to which I would prefer.
Good luck with your new job!
Mary, I can see that game playing out in my head and applaud you for empowering that little girl. Imagine the lesson she will carry throughout her life. Awesome!
Sally, is attitude another form of diaper? Just sayin’. And, thanks. It’s a lot of fun. Even though I compare them to their larger counterparts, those little men-in-training are sure hard not to love. Cheers!
I’m currently watching the 2 1/2 yr. old grand go from sweetie pie to total little boy package! So fun. Both the boys are so different from their girl cousin )
I still have boys at my house. I wish I could say they change. They do still turn to me first when there is a problem to solve. I have to beg for a hug and a kiss now before they leave the house. Fun post.
It’s fun to watch them grow and change, isn’t it Debbie. I just love to compare them to their 40 year old counterparts. Not much changes.
Thanks Susan. It will be fun to see them come back around to the point when they hug and kiss without being asked. The fact they still come to you with problems is a testament to you as a mom. Kudos.
Lindy,
Fun…and interesting post. I only had one boy…but I taught Sunday School for 2nd graders…..oh my.
By the time they’re seven, they thought they were every super power in the universe…and every girl was an alien to be eliminated with a blaster (imaginary weapon, but that finger included all the required sound effects)
I don’t think adults always realize how important their role is in shaping these future adults. We can empower them like Mary was saying, or shove their imagination and/or pride into the dirt…sometimes simply by ignoring their request for attention or praise…or a careless word.
Congrats on the job & good luck!!!
Hysterical post, Lindy. I love the grunting thing. You know, most adult males do that, too once in awhile. Heck, I do, too, LOL.
Thanks for the smile.
Thanks Sandy. It’s so true that, as adults, we are the tall people the short people look up to (literally and figuratively). We must mind our P&Qs in order to help them along gently, but the hugging thing just struck me. “Go ahead and hug but do it on the nap mats. Right?
Thanks Linsey. I thought they were funny enough to write about. Knowing that grown men still grunt for things they want (and you too) gives me a giggle. I guess I probably do too now that I’m thinking about it. Ha! Cheers.
Ah, Lindy, that is a fascinating topic. I totally adore watching the little ones. There was little girl at a wedding reception who couldn’t have been over 6 yrs old who was a hoot to watch. She wasn’t gorgeous, but she had a personality that drew in the little boys and kept them on their toes. I’m sure she’ll be looking for a world to rule one day.
Lindy
Thoroughly enjoyed your post! Haven’t had them first-hand, but with nieces and nephews visiting, I just have to laugh -until I become exhausted. Then they go home.
Dianna, it’s funny seeing how men begin their lives and then secretly knowing what they will take with them into adulthood. I love knowing how this one will be curious forever, and that one will probably grunt well into his 70s. Thanks.
Yes, Maxine, the going home part is pretty cool at teh end of a long, fun-filled day!
Hey Lindy! I can totally see you sitting there with all those little guys. I was actually that little girl a time or two. Growing up in Wyoming and liking the things I did, I often found myself the lone girl (I can still shoot better than most men). It was great up until high school when other little girls realized they could get the boys attention by liking the same things they liked. That’s when a lot of the sports and activities went downhill for me. The attention did too. Or (as my mom likes to say) I became aloof and ignored those who did pay attention.
Sadly, tis the way of life.
Great post.
Tami
Love your post, Lindy! Having raised only boys, I have nothing to compare it to, but all of your observations are spot-on. And you are right: sadly, some things never change. You know the old saying, “The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.” That’s about right.
Tami, I love that you were THAT girl. I never really fell into the “liked what the boys liked” category either. I liked what I liked and some of those things were boy things. Fishing, for example. And, your right, it is the way of life. Thanks.
Oh Pam, there is no lie in that, now is there? XO