.jpg)
By Darcy Crowder
The candy’s gone, unless you have better will power than I do, or not as many kids roaming the house, that stunning bouquet of flowers is starting to wilt and your night on the town is now just a pleasant memory, that is until you get to relive it as you pay the credit card bill. So what now?
Where are you going to find romance today? Tomorrow? Next week?
Romance is all around you, 365 days of the year, you just have to dust off those rose-colored glasses and look for it – sometimes, maybe, be willing to expand on the traditional romance equals hearts, flowers, passion, definition. It is, after all, a new millennium.
Take my white knight, for instance. Every day he puts on his battle armor of fine, pressed business attire, hops into his trusty gas efficient vehicle and fights his way into downtown Atlanta traffic, all in a day’s work to provide a comfortable, safe environment for his family.
That’s not romance, you say.
Well, what about on the weekends when he drives my car and fills it up with gas, so I don’t have to. Or brings firewood up from the woodshed so I don’t have to tromp down there by myself at night or face off with spiders. Or how about when he washes the dinner dishes the next morning because we got to bed late and he knows I didn’t sleep well and hate to wake up to a messy kitchen.
Well, maybe that’s sort of romantic, in a helpful kinda way.
Okay. How about when he slides over in bed on cold winter nights so I can lay in the “warm spot” and tolerates my freezing toes hovering just centimeters away. Or how, after 26 years, he still holds my hand when we drive around in the car. Or is known to sweep me up in a waltz around the kitchen as we fix dinner because a favorite song came on. Or how about those times when for no reason at all, no holiday, no birthday, just an ordinary day, he stops me in the hallway and tells me I’m beautiful.
Yeah. Now that’s romantic.
So tell me, where do you find romance?
.png)
.jpg)
by Darcy Crowder
First, congrats on finding a “keeper.” Romantic to me is when his gaze connects w/ mine & we both smile at a shared memory. Or even when he writes at the bottom of a Hallmark card that he’d love to do it all over again with me.
And, yes, it’s romantic to me when he used to get up with the babies in the middle of the night (on weekends) so I could have at least a couple uninterrupted nights.
If I had it to do all over…I’d make the same choice.
Darcy,
That was like reading a true romance story.
I found mine, too. Married him when I was 28. I love it that he opens the car/truck door for me and sometimes I get a small pinch. There are other things too. Oh, I can get mad, but he gets me over it quickly.
Filling your car with gas, that’s romantic. I’ve been trying to get my husband to do that. He will if I remind him. He pointed out that he does go grocery shopping with me on weekends and wash the pots and pans because I hate doing that. So I guess that’s romantic.
I agree Darcy, the daily & weekly gestures are just as important as the big holidays.
Saying “I love you” and giving a hug and kiss are important. I love when I’m busy that DH gives me a hug from behind and whispers something in my ear.
Darcy, what a beautiful post.
My dh clears the decks so I can write. My books are important to him, and I know that’s not something every RWA member can say about her (or his) spouse.
Oh, yeah, Sandy. Sounds like you’ve found a keeper too! I would definitely do it all over again.
Hey Maxine! A guy who can pull you out of a good “mad” is definitely a great guy.
We got married so young…I’ve lived more of my life with him than without. It’s funny, but even when I think of childhood memories, it’s as if he’s there, hovering on the periphery….
Hey Marilyn! He gets points for grocery shopping for sure. But I can’t take my DH into the grocery store without spending more.
I like to get in and get out. LOL.
Hi Sia – I agree, those little hugs and whispers are pure treasure!
Nancy, you are so right! And what a blessing it is to have a DH who “gets it” and is willing to make allowances. We’re very lucky.
I believe women see ‘love’ messages in the little things much more than men do. Hubby fills my gas tank, gets my oil changed, and is willing to stop for the occasional item at the grocery store. I’m not throwing him back.
What a guy! I agree that he is definitely a keeper.
Most of us don’t think of “those” things as stepping out of the norm, but we really should. I grew up in a household where the women did ALL the work, made the money, and pretty much never expected any different. My guy does all the things you mentioned, I just never really acknowledged how out of the ordinary that is. Thanks for opening my eyes.
Tami
Darcy – You are so right. I’m always saying thank you to my hubby for the many things he does that makes my life easier. I don’t assume it’s “his job” to take out the garbage or deal with anything that breaks in the house or on the cars. I love that he’ll run and fill up my car when he knows I have a drive up through town so I wont’ have to stop. I think those little things say I love you more than flowers and candy, because he does them out of consideration for me. We’ve been asked by strangers if we’re newly weds because of the way we hold hands walking or huddle close to share something. I do love flowers, but I prefer them when I least expect them, not on a holiday. He knows that. Like your husband and others mentioned, mine is an unusual man. I know it and make sure to appreciate him.
I agree Carol, women see “love messages” in those little things. Maybe if more men understood that they would help out more….
Hey Tami! I don’t know that those things are so much out of the ordinary as they are those little things that our guys do for us that we may get so used to that we forget to acknowledge. Some of the studies I’ve come across try to point out that a lot of time when men are doing those things it really is a form of saying how much he loves us. Sometimes that’s a disconnect – they think they are showing us love and we’re waiting for big gestures…just speaking in generalities here.
Hi Dianna! Anyone who has ever seen you and Karl together knows what a great couple you are.
He’s terrific!
Oh, Darcy. You made me cry. What a beautiful, touching post. Sigh.
My hubby also fills my gas tank so I don’t have to. He doesn’t “get” my writing, but still does so many things that give me the time to write. I’ll take it. Glad you’ve got a good one.
It’s the little every day things that spell romance. I agree. I’d rather have that all year, then a grand gesture once a year.
Hi Linsey and Mary!It is the little things that spell romance all year long. And Linsey, your DH may not “get” your work, but if he helps make it possible, he’s definitely a keeper too.