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Pamela Mason on Social Networking

Have you ever been the wallflower at your spouse’s office holiday party? Everybody knows everybody else, except for the wives and husbands who stand there like a third arm, hoping somebody will strike up a conversation about religion or politics so at least there would be a fighting chance.

Or have you been invited to one of those direct sales parties where everybody knows each other, but since your kid is in the same class/troop/heavy metal band with the hostess’ kid and she needed 24 people to qualify for the Chocolate Lava Fountain at a huge discount so you, Ms.Nicety-Nice (who is dying to see what her house looks like on the inside since she has great empty boxes on the curb on garbage day) accept her invitation….

only to be stuck in the kitchen drawing designs in the pepper sauce covered cream cheese brick with the edge of a cracker while everybody else laughs over the hostess’ latest Real Life / Real Housewives’ adventure with her ex and his new just legal tatto’ed armcandy?

Yeah… been there, done that… and in my opinion Vern Yip could use her house as a lesson in what NOT to do in decorating.

If either of these scenarios rings a bell, you may have been the victim of DBC – Drive By Community. Ever hear of it? It’s where you’re the newbie stuck at the fringes of an event where it appears everyone knows everyone else, so if you can get away with it, you follow the #DWTS (Dancing With The Stars) stream on your Twitter app to see who’s going home – or to the ER.

But never fear my friends, because DBC can be cured through the judicious use and application of Social Networking.

Whether your network of choice is Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google +, Goodreads, Ning, Bebo, Tumblerr,  Pinterest or LinkedIn… or any of the many others out there in the Online Wilds, there’s no better way to become acquainted with people of like interests before the event than via networking. And love it or hate it, 1 billion+ people say it’s here to stay.

At Moonlight & Magnolias I had the pleasure to meet long distance friends whose names pop up on my Yahoo loops and Twitter stream and Facebook posts, including my Facebook 5 a.m. Writer’s Group (we’re more like a “it’s 5a.m. somewhere” group – anytime day or night find writing companions, answers to publishing questions, support, cheering, or commiseration). I finally got to meet face to face publishers and authors from Florida to Canada, and that awkward “So, how’s the weather in Nashville?” stage was skipped over. We picked right up where we’d left off during our online communiques.

Maybe a better term to use in lieu of that dreaded “social networking” (which holds a bad connotation for me since the movie) would be

Community.

We’ve lost some of that in our personal lives, but we’ve regained communities in another form. I watched Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg have this conversation on The View not long ago, and when Baba ventured with (paraphrased here) …so who needs to know what you’re doing all the time…? Whoopi answered with  I do! I’m trying to quit smoking, and yesterday I was so tempted, but I turned to Twitter and got all kinds of support…

That’s pretty powerful Social Networking Community.

Volunteering as the conference promotions chair, I got to know my postlady and my two UPS deliverymen – all of whom are happy to not be delivering thirty-two pound boxes of books any longer.  I singlehandedly (sorta) saved my local post office’s employment status since the deliveries happened during their audit, and now I know UPS Chuck’s wife loves “those bosom busters books” (!).

But now, the conference is over – no more deliveries, no more small talk. Do you talk to your deliveryman or postman very often?

Perhaps that’s why we writers – who stare at our screens and transcribe what our characters whisper in our ears – act like house arrest prisoners with malfunctioning ankle bracelets when we bust out of the office for events. We’re non-stop talkers! Anybody who thinks we writers are introverted wallflowers hasn’t been to a conference lately. We’re with the people who get us – our Community. The people  we see in our online classes and loops, in our circles and newstreams, tweeting about their latest writing victories or losses – we’re finally face to face.

I hope to be able to meet even more of you at Southern Magic’s Romance Readers’ Luncheon (http://www.southernmagic.org/luncheon.html) in Birmingham AL on November 3, featuring Dianna Love, Sherrilyn Kenyon, and Barbara Vey. I’ll be there supporting the fine Romance Magicians writers as well as our own Georgia Romance Writers: Sandra Elzie, M.V. Freeman, Debby giusti, Suzanne Johnson, Debbie Kaufman, Ciara Knight, Hildie McQueen and Lindi Peterson.

And I’m proud to announce that WriterMason Productions – Promoting Romance Authors with Events, Branding, and Products – is sponsoring their beautiful red, black and white conference bags!

If you are a romance writer or reader I hope you’ll become part of our Community. And then we can skip that awkward newbie talk when we meet face to face.

What online communities are you a member of? Let’s find and follow each other!

I’m listed on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Goodreads, Google+, and WANAtribe.com under my name Pamela V. Mason. And you are…?

 

Pamela Mason is the owner of WriterMason Productions that works with romance authors to establish their platform, identify their brands, and promote more effectively their books and appearances to their targeted reading audience. When she’s not working with clients, she’s the Jane Jetson of the Digital Age of Publishing, studying trends and the business news of this crazy, upside down business. When she’s not doing THAT, she’s writing a contemporary fantasy called Glitz & Blitz – Careful What You Wish For. And reading. And making coffee. Find her at WriterMason.com, all the online communities listed above, and at writer/reader conferences – make sure to say hello!

Linsey Lanier - October 17, 2012 - 7:29 am

Wow, you make my head spin, Pamela. Thanks so much for all your hard work at M&M. Smile

WANAtribe.com? I love Kristen Lamb, but hadn’t heard of this. Is it part of Triberr?

Sia Huff - October 17, 2012 - 8:14 am

Pam,
You make my head spin too. I’m on FB and Pinterest. I never thought of SM as a community. A good way to look at it. Guess I should branch out, sayes another introvert.
Have fun at the readers luncheon.

Peggy O'Keefe - October 17, 2012 - 8:45 am

Pam,
Loved it!!!

Pamela Mason - October 17, 2012 - 9:13 am

Linsey — No, WANAtribe is not part of Triberr. Kristen Lamb started the hashtag #MyWANA and later had such an explosion of community members she started her own social network. I highly recommend her classes (it’s where I found her) and her blog, and do check out her “love revolution” on her network and Twitter.

Hi Sia – If you look at it as your online support community, it feels much more comfortable. You still should stay safe but like seems to attract like… there are manymanymany wallflowers out there (a much nicer term for the quietly lurking people, don’t you think?).

Hi Peggy – thanks for visiting & I’m glad you loved it.

Kellie Kamryn - October 17, 2012 - 9:50 am

Great post, Pamela! I love keeping up with the people I meet on social media and I’ve made some great friends that way and you’re right – we pick up where we leave off on our conversations. In my little corner of the world where the support for romance writers is small, it’s nice to have these other “communities” of people who “get me”! Kiss

Denise Mitchell - October 17, 2012 - 10:22 am

I love this post. It hits the nail right on the head.

I’m on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, G+, LinkedIn and Goodreads. I’m not a romance writer but I am a copywriter and yes, I am a Social Media addict!

I get different things out of each of these communities and it is great to be able to mix with like-minded people. I’ve made some really good friends through Social Media and I would just say to any wallflowers (love that description)out there – we’ve all been there. Just pluck up the courage to jump in one day and there will be no stopping you!

Maggie Montgomery - October 17, 2012 - 10:23 am

I’m so glad you’ve started this business, Pam! I think you’re going to be hugely successful and help a lot of people. It’s a beautiful thing when you see someone doing something they’re really good at!

Marilyn Baron - October 17, 2012 - 10:39 am

Pamela,
I know what you mean about connecting with people you only know on line. I met Elena Dillon, my Triberr Tribemate at M&M and it was really neat and I met a lot of wonderful new people at M&M. I’m on Triberr and I love it, and Facebook (about five groups)and Linked In, Twitter, Goodreads and Google +, although I’m not sure what to do on Google+. One of my favorite Facebook groups is Friends from Beyond Her Book. That is a great group of people I feel like I know, although I haven’t met most of them in person. Thanks for blogging with us today.

Susan Carlisle - October 17, 2012 - 10:57 am

Pam,
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your wisdom. The social media is fun and I’ve enjoyed getting in touch with old friends and meeting new. I love Pinterest. The visual sucks me in everytime.

Carla Swafford - October 17, 2012 - 11:20 am

Great post, Pamela. Goodness, I’m part of so many that I often feel overwhelmed by the information. Like, Susan, I’m enjoying Pinterest though I don’t have a lot of time to spend on it. More than anything I prefer writing.

Between work (more email than phone calls nowadays) and home (quiet hubby who doesn’t understand this writing business), I can so relate to the feeling of being set free. Sometimes I have to remind myself that others need to talk too. LOL!

Pamela Mason - October 17, 2012 - 12:29 pm

Hug Left Hi Kellie! It was great meeting you too at M&M! Yes, it’s fun to be with people who understand the same things you’re going through, isn’t it? Glad you dropped by!

Marilyn – Waving I love Friends From Beyond Her Book too – Barbara Vey’s group there is one of the friendliest and best! I’ll bet everybody there goes to her luncheon in the spring – is it in Chicago every year? Around RT time? And you are a marketing Machine with all those groups there babe…good for you! Thanks for visiting!

Hug Left Hi Susan! Actually, it was my cousin who dragged me kicking and screaming on to Facebook – lol! It’s been wonderful reconnecting with her and with some of my high school and college buds. And Talk to the Hand Pinterest – girrrl… I can’t go there anymore. Too absorptive, too distracting… oh how I love Pinterest! Thank you for having me here today.

Janet Lane Walters - October 17, 2012 - 12:39 pm

Interesting post and as I heard at a conference, networking is the way to go with getting your name out there.

Pamela Mason - October 17, 2012 - 1:54 pm

Carla!!
You’re not the only one! Don’t dare inhale…
Thanks for visiting, and I can’t wait to meet you at the luncheon too. We’ll compare ankle bracelets! Silly

Hi Janet! It definitely is a good way to get some recognition amid all the words online. Glad you’re here! Smile

Pamela Mason - October 17, 2012 - 2:34 pm

Hi Denise Big Smile – Glad to see you here too. I don’t believe I’ve met you online, but you can be sure I’ll be sending a friend/follow/circle/et al request!
I DID register on LinkedIn, but I’ve never followed through. MyHero husband does use LI for work, and we think it’s best that I give him that network allll to himself!

That’s such a lovely compliment coming from you Maggie Big Smile… Thank you so much. As a matter of fact, WriterMason Productions added a new client to the roster today. I have all of you to thank for the exposure, so THANK YOU! Jump

Did I hear someone whisper “Step away from the emoticons…” ? Stop

Maxine - October 17, 2012 - 2:35 pm

I’m on some of the social media mentioned, but I need to jump in the deep end and really get with it. I tell myself I AM going to get on all of those facinating medias, but I know I’m stalling. I’ll be with the rest of you, soon…

Today I am a Guest Chef! « pamelavmason - October 17, 2012 - 2:45 pm

[...] talking about Community over at Petit Fours and Hot Tamales [...]

Rashda/Mina Khan - October 17, 2012 - 2:47 pm

OMG, I love the phrase “Drive By Community” that’s exactly what it feels like! Enjoyed the post and so glad I’m part of your community (at least some aspects…must hunt you down on twitter!). Looking forward to seeing you at the Readers Luncheon Smile

Pamela Mason - October 17, 2012 - 3:17 pm

Come on in Maxine! Just know this:
Procrastination, thy name is Pinterest. Nerd

pjpuppymom - October 17, 2012 - 6:16 pm

Hi Pam! It was lovely meeting you face to face at M&M this year. I’ve made many wonderful friends via social community (love that term)and am lucky to have continued those friendships in person at various conferences and other events. Actually, some of my dearest friends were “met” through an iVillage message board some 12 years ago. We hail from all over the U.S. as well as two other countries and now meet in person for a girlfriend getaway every fall.

I’m on Twitter as @pjpuppymom and @theromancedish and Facebook as PJ Ausdenmore and The Romance Dish. I’m also on Goodreads, LinkedIn and Google+ though, like Marilyn, I’m not real sure what to do with the Google+ yet. I used to be on Pinterest but cancelled my account because I wasn’t getting anything else done. I may dip my toe back into those waters again one of these days if I can control myself. Wink Must go check out Triberr. Have not heard of that one before.

Pamela Mason - October 17, 2012 - 8:52 pm

PJ, you are one busy lady! I think I’m already following you on everything, but I’ll doublecheck. Thanks for the links and the community luv!
Love your story about your friendships across the country too…

Corey Feldman - October 18, 2012 - 2:17 pm

Nice post. I hate networking at those type events.

Carol Burnside - October 18, 2012 - 2:32 pm

Hey, Pamela! I’m a day late here, but have been under the weather. I have a love/hate relationship with social media. Some days I see the rewards and love it. Other days…there’s just no way I can fit it in and I feel like I’ll never catch up.

In any case, I’m on a slew of sites as Carol Burnside and Annie Rayburn, including Twitter, FB, Goodreads, Shelfari, Triberr, and Pinterest. I’m on Google+ and LinkedIn, but frankly don’t yet see the advantage for me on either site.

Sandra Elzie - October 19, 2012 - 8:01 am

Hi Pam,
I’m also late to the party, but I want to commend you on a great article. You’re right…but I’m one of those who seems to lack the time to promote as I know I should. This is an area I plan to improve in….even if it kills me!!! Smile

Pamela Mason - October 19, 2012 - 1:27 pm

Hi Corey – ah… are you an introvert who likes to melt into the background at these things? I really do understand – it can be intimidating to walk into a giant room of strangers and wonder who to sit next to. But that’s where the beauty of networking online happens. If you can strike up a conversation with someone online, then you happen to meet up at a conference, the awkwardness is erased and you’ve skipped on to the honeymoon-friendship stage.

Carol, I don’t know how you do it — the 2 names thing would boggle my mind. I will tell you that G+ has a higher amount of erotic romance authors to the other subcategories of romance. Maybe consider being Annie there and Carol elsewhere?

Google+ has fallen short of expectations in comparison to Facebook.

Hi Sandra! Thank you! And don’t feel like you have to promotepromotepromote. Be yourself, have fun, find your people, and before you know it, your work will promote itself!

Hildie McQueen - October 19, 2012 - 10:54 pm

We’ve all been there, I remember going to a woman’s house that looked like a magazine spread and feeling so awkward because I was afraid to accidentally break something. I am so excited about the luncheon. To meet old and new writers who I only speak to online!

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