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A New Twist on Valentine’s Day

By Pam Asberry

Last night I sat in Miss Maggie’s cheerful kitchen, moaning as I nibbled on a hot buttered biscuit smeared with strawberry jam.

“How did I get stuck writing today’s PFHT blog post?” I sniffled. “I hate Valentine’s Day. I’m the only single gal in this crowd. What do I know about love?”

Leave it to Miss Maggie to set me straight.

I have been divorced for almost twelve years now, and it makes me crazy to think about how much of that time has been frittered away looking for the quintessential romantic love: all the awkward first dates; all the weeks, months and years I have spent in relationships there were destined to end in heartbreak and pain for everyone involved; all the Valentine’s Days I spent feeling sorry for myself because there was no special someone in my life to bring me candy, flowers and cards.

I have always been a sucker for the hype, for the grand gesture. But there’s romantic love and there’s just plain love, and it turns out I know a whole lot about that.

“If you constantly focus on what you don’t have, you will never be able to appreciate what you do have,” Miss Maggie chided. “Quit your whining take a look around. There is love in every direction you turn.”

It didn’t take me long to see that she was right. There’s my mama and daddy, my brother and his wife, my children and my pooch. There are piano students and writer friends and piano teacher friends and friends I’ve known such a long time I don’t even know where they came from.  There are Facebook friends and Twitter friends and blogger friends, people I’ve never even met who reach out to me with affirmation and affection on a regular basis.

“As a matter of fact,” Miss Maggie continued, “the best way to feel love is to give love. Lots of it. To yourself and to everyone around you. It’s not fattening like chocolate. It doesn’t fade like flowers. You don’t need a postage stamp to send it. And the more you give, the more you get back in return.”

So that’s how I’m celebrating this February fourteenth: by pouring all the love I have in my heart over everyone I hold dear. It’s a long list. I’ll be way too busy to feel sorry for myself.

Pam Asberry


Marilyn Baron - February 14, 2013 - 12:23 am

What a lovely post. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Mary Preston - February 14, 2013 - 3:18 am

Sending more love your way!! See? It works.

Carol Burnside - February 14, 2013 - 7:25 am

Hurray for you, Pam. I predict your cup will run over with love and affection today. :heart: Cheers! :drink: :drink: :drink:

Denise - February 14, 2013 - 8:06 am

Right back at you.

Pam Asberry - February 14, 2013 - 8:21 am

Thanks, Marilyn! Hope all your Valentine’s Day wishes come true!

Pam Asberry - February 14, 2013 - 8:22 am

Wow, Mary! It’s like magic! :-) Thank you for being such a faithful supporter of our blog. Have a wonderful day!

Pam Asberry - February 14, 2013 - 8:23 am

So far so good, Carol! And thanks for the drinks. There’s nothing like a margarita for breakfast. I’m sure Miss Maggie will understand! ;-)

Pam Asberry - February 14, 2013 - 8:24 am

It’s like a ping pong ball, Denise…

Maxine - February 14, 2013 - 9:24 am

You are right, Pam. Love is all around. Sometimes we have to look real hard . Like Mary: Sending Love Your Way.

Pam Asberry - February 14, 2013 - 9:41 am

Thank you, Maxine! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Julee J. Adams - February 14, 2013 - 12:56 pm

Love it, Pam and love you! I especially liked the “…and friends I’ve known such a long time I don’t even know where they came from.” I ask each day to be a blessing and I don’t think Valentine’s Day should just be about romantic love. I got silly kitty and puppy valentines (with free tattoos!) for my co-workers. Relax, enjoy and treat yourself today, because the hard lesson is you have to love yourself before you can share. Happy Valentine’s Day! :laugh:

Anna Doll - February 14, 2013 - 6:40 pm


Great post, and you’re spot on–love is all around you! I’m not much for Valentine’s Day. Hubby and I exchanged a couple of texts this morning, grabbed dinner at Applebee’s and are on our way to choir practice. V Day is overrated…I’ll bet there are more disappointed, sad people on this day than Christmas!

Connie Gillam - February 14, 2013 - 8:07 pm

Ms. Maggie gives very sound advice. Happy Valentine’s Day, Pam.

Pam Asberry - February 14, 2013 - 11:28 pm

Yes, Julee, you definitely put yourself in the correct category. Your coworkers are lucky; what I wouldn’t give for a free tattoo right about now, LOL! Hope you have had a wonderful day!

Pam Asberry - February 14, 2013 - 11:31 pm

Valentine’s Day is definitely overrated, Anna. It sounds like you and your husband have found the perfect balance. As for me, I made up my mind not to be disappointed or sad and I was neither. Matter of fact, this was the vest Valentine’s Day I have had in a *LONG* time! :-)

Pam Asberry - February 14, 2013 - 11:31 pm

Indeed she does, Connie. And her hot buttered biscuits with strawberry jam are therapeutic, too. ;-)

Linsey Lanier - February 15, 2013 - 12:44 pm

What a sweet post, Pam. You brought tears to my eyes. IMO, we’re all lucky to be living in the electronic age. Even if you’re a total recluse, you can get on Facebook or Twitter and be talking to a load of people with similar interests any time of the day! No need to be lonely anymore. And we share a rich community of supportive writers available at our fingertips. I love it!

I hope you had a very happy day yesterday. :inlove:

Pam Asberry - February 15, 2013 - 1:22 pm

Thanks you so much, Linsey. Except I’m sorry I made you cry! I love living in the electronic age. And I had a wonderful Valentine’s Day. :-)

Sia Huff - February 20, 2013 - 8:56 am

What beautiful words of wisdom. Love in any form is wonderful. Hope you had a wonderful day, celebrating what you do have – alot of people who love you too.

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