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The Best of…Debbie Kaufman

By Marilyn Baron

Debbie Kaufman is a funny lady. It was difficult to decide which of her posts in the past year bore repeating.  But this post, entitled “The Different Ways Men and Women Think,”  had a special place in my heart because our husbands  are very similar in that they think they can fix anything. My husband is an economist but when he started college he was going to major in engineering, so rather than throw something out he will work on it forever until it’s fixed, whereas my  attitude is let’s just get a new one  (of anything).  This  column about Debbie’s husband fixing her broken refrigerator with a hair dryer was priceless. What I wanted to know was, now that the hair dryer was running the fridge, how was she going to dry her hair? My sister’s husband is the same way. When her oven broke she was excited about the possibility of getting a new one. After he investigated, he found that the oven was not plugged in. Drat.  Well, I think you’ll enjoy this post, which ran on July 8, 2013.

The Different Ways Men and Women Think

                        By Debbie Kaufman

Kaufman headshot compressed 36 kb

You’d think that after thirty-five years of marriage, I’d have this thing down. I should remember just how differently men and women think and communicate.

But I don’t.

You’d also think that, given to posting the family funny updates on Facebook, I would have thought twice about helping my husband learn about social media.

But I didn’t.

And you wouldn’t be wrong to think, that I’d learn from my mistakes.

But I probably won’t.

Think of this as a cautionary tale.

On July 2nd, I posted the following on Facebook:

Just got off the Sears Outlet site scouting out refrigerators since my 22 year-old- model went kerpuff. Already my personal FB ads have several brands up for my consideration!

Should I disappoint them now and say that Bill Kaufman says he knows what part we need and how to fix it?

Now, keep in mind that I assumed he would diagnose the dinosaur in our kitchen and come to a quick conclusion: It was time to replace the fridge.

In the comments that ensued was one from his former boss: Nancy Burley: tell Bill Kaufman you deserve a new frig!

After hauling a full freezer’s worth of food to my older kid’s homes, and obtaining coolers and ice to keep our immediate needs in the house, I agreed with Nancy.

In fact, I envisioned a gently-used version of something recently like this:

fridge

My first clue that things might not go the way I was hoping occurred when my dear husband said, “I figured out what’s wrong. Do you have a hairdryer?”

Yep, that’s right, he asked for a hair dryer. A poor, innocent hair dryer.

I should have known, after all I once lived with a blue tarp serving as one entire wall of my house for months.

So, while I was envisioning a French-door refrigerator, all shiny-new stainless steel, this is what he had in mind:

refrigerator 001

Since you ask, yes, that is my hair dryer inside my freezer. Who knew your hairdryer could be rewired to power your freezer defrost? Oh, and who knew how weird it sounds to hear your hairdryer start up inside your freezer? Not me, that’s for sure.

I was torn between admiration for his ingenuity and sheer horror. Here’s what followed on Facebook after I posted the pic.

Mary Buckham Now we know where McGyver went!
July 3 at 9:51pm · Unlike · 2

Bill Kaufman And NO duct tape! Come to think of it, maybe I should have….
July 3 at 9:53pm · Like

Debbie Duncan Kaufman Mary: And why he never married…
July 3 at 9:53pm · Like · 1

Mary Buckham LOL! I didn’t say that Debbie and I won’t tell anyone you did either. On second thought we’re on FB. Run!
July 3 at 9:54pm · Unlike · 1

Debbie Duncan Kaufman Lol, Bill Kaufman is in the next room. I can hear the FB ding every time we post.
July 3 at 9:55pm · Like

Debbie Duncan Kaufman Seriously, I’ve always said the man can fix anything.
July 3 at 9:56pm · Like

Debbie Duncan Kaufman On the plus side, he says we can afford to buy me a new hair dryer.
July 3 at 9:56pm · Like

Betsey Hitson Bill is the man.
July 3 at 9:59pm via mobile · Unlike · 1

Debbie Duncan Kaufman Let me know any time you want your refrigerator fixed, Betsey Hitson It will only cost you a hair dryer.
July 3 at 10:00pm · Like

Betsey Hitson Nah. If I know Bill, he’ll soon have it down to an even smaller appliance.
July 3 at 10:04pm via mobile · Unlike · 1

Becky Drawdy Now that is funny!
July 4 at 6:56am · Unlike · 2

Kelly L Stone lol
July 4 at 8:41am · Unlike · 1

Caroline Akins I choked on my coffee laughing. There is my childhood summed up in one pic
July 4 at 9:19am via mobile · Like · 1

Jon Mattox Way to go McGyv….uh, Bill.
July 4 at 9:22am · Unlike · 1

Marilyn Baron Sorry, Debbie. What if you want to dry your hair?
July 4 at 10:53am · Unlike · 1

Bill Kaufman I can always set it to “defrost.”
July 4 at 10:59am · Unlike · 2

Debbie Duncan Kaufman Good point, Marilyn. Seems none of his tools were usable for this purpose, LOL!
July 4 at 12:04pm · Like

Debbie Duncan Kaufman But really folks, if you lived through the zombie apocalypse, wouldn’t you want Bill Kaufman in your band of survivors?
July 4 at 12:05pm · Like · 1

Bill Kaufman My first choice was a heat gun, but it’s on loan.
July 4 at 12:07pm · Unlike · 1

Debbie Duncan Kaufman Sure, honey. If you say so…
July 4 at 12:10pm · Like

Debbie Duncan Kaufman Just an FYI, fridge is still running off my hairdryer. Let my hair dry naturally today just to keep Bill from offering me a heat gun with my diffuser attachment.
Friday at 11:58am · Like · 2

Bill Kaufman Cant’t help you. I still haven’t gotten my heat gun back.
Friday at 12:03pm · Unlike · 1

Eventually, the part was ordered and arrived. Bill installed it and this came next:

Bill cord stash

“You can have your hairdryer back now.” — with Bill Kaufman.

I’ll leave you with these last couple of FB posts.

Things my husband says while installing the new freezer part:
(After 1st band-aid) “There’s some more blood left in there, but I can’t get it.”

More things my husband, Bill Kaufman, says while installing the new freezer part:
(After having me “come see” once already and I’ve returned to desk.) “There it goes (implying that it’s working). It only does it when you’re not in here.”
GREAT! We’ve found the ultimate diet. The refrigerator will only work if I’m not near it!

The comments were hilarious. Come check out my page if you want to read all of our back and forth.

Debbie Kaufman is a card-carrying member of the Petit Fours and Hot Tamales blog group.  She writes inspirational historical romance for Harlequin’s Love Inspired Historical line.  The fact that some of her books contain cannibals should be understood as an element of adventurous romance stories and should never misconstrued as a sign of a warped mind.  Debbie insists she is as normal as everyone else.  To decide for yourself, visit Debbie on her WEBSITE or on

 

- See more at: http://www.petitfoursandhottamales.com/2013/07/08/the-different-ways-men-and-women-think/#sthash.TVdBcnKM.dpuf

Connie Gillam - December 9, 2013 - 8:37 am

Is the refrigerator still working? LOL

I’m afraid to tell my husband that I’m replacing something because his reply is the same: “I can fix that.”

Marilyn Baron - December 9, 2013 - 9:19 am

Connie,
Debbie will have to answer that. Men are all alike.

Carol Burnside - December 9, 2013 - 10:40 am

I remember this post and seeing the comments on FB. Too funny!

Debbie Kaufman - December 9, 2013 - 12:51 pm

Hi Connie, yes, fixed and still working. Fortunately so is my hair dryer :)

Debbie Kaufman - December 9, 2013 - 12:51 pm

Marilyn, thanks for posting this. It is one of my favorites too :)

Debbie Kaufman - December 9, 2013 - 12:52 pm

Hey Carol,
It was one of those laughable incidents that becomes family legend!

Marilyn Baron - December 9, 2013 - 2:05 pm

Carol,
I’m glad you like this post. Debbie, I’m glad it’s one of your favorites.

Pam Asberry - December 9, 2013 - 7:27 pm

Love love love this post! Thanks for the reprise! :-)

Marilyn Baron - December 9, 2013 - 7:43 pm

Thanks, Pam.

Sandra Elzie - December 10, 2013 - 1:28 pm

Oh what a great choice of articles. I thoroughly enjoyed this post…the first time as well as the second.

Thanks, Marilyn, for sharing it again.

Susan Carlisle - December 10, 2013 - 10:45 pm

This is just too funny!!!

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