My bucket list goes on for miles. But since I plan to live to be 105 and die in a fiery plane crash coming home from someplace exotic, I fully intend to check every item off. That said, there are ten things I have done in my life that I will never do again. Here they are.
1. Eat raw oysters on the half shell. Or spinach out of a can.
Frankly, I don’t understand why anyone does. However, I am quite fond of escargot and freshly cooked spinach. Both with lots of garlic.
2. Visit a chain hair salon.
A mediocre haircut is bad enough; I have suffered much worse. After my last tear-inducing experience, I went on a quest to find the World’s Greatest Hairdresser, and now that I have found her, I would follow her to the ends of the earth. I trust her completely and she is worth every penny she charges, especially considering that she doubles as a therapist. If she ever retires, I may simply let my hair go gray and wear it in a bun on the back of my head.
3. Ride a roller coaster.
I love the experience, but I walked away from my last roller coaster ride with the worst headache I have ever experienced. I can live without the thrill. But I haven’t got time for the pain.
4. Be a vegetarian.
I tried it for a couple of years, but I missed salmon, hot wings, and bacon. And even though there are self-proclaimed “vegetarians” who do eat fish and chicken, I can’t get anyone else to agree that bacon is merely a condiment. And every now and then, this girl just needs a couple of slices of crispy bacon with her scrambled eggs and hash browns.
5. Run a half marathon.
The one I finished was a great experience – until my right knee blew out somewhere around Mile 10. Now I am content to simply walk. And 10K is plenty far enough, thank you very much.
6. Drink a dirty martini.
I’m okay with vodka and I love olives. However, in my humble opinion they should not share a glass.
7. Go to a music concert without a designated seat.
Stand in a crowd for hours and hours? I would rather stay home and listen to the CD.
8. Sit in a sauna.
Put me on a sunny beach, at a fourth of July barbecue, or in a bubbly hot tub and I will sweat grinning from ear to ear. I do not, however, see the point of a sauna.
9. Own a pet.
I love my dog. But I have spent the past 26 years raising children and sharing responsibility for their assorted pets. So after my youngest (almost 18) leaves the nest and my pup goes to doggy heaven (in the far-distant future) I am done having anyone or anything ultimately dependent on me.
10. Be anything other than who I am just to please someone else.
Happily, I recently met a guy who loves me unconditionally and just as I am. Now that I know what that feels like, I could never settle for anything less.
What about you? Is there anything you’ve done before that you vow never to do again?