I know, right? Therapists, start your billing. This should be good for at least a 5-series Beemer.

I thought the discovery was a seriously good score, like, make-yourself-feel-way-superior kind of score. I’ll be the first to admit I’d be a dreadful parent, but even I know this is not a good idea.

So, naturally, I showed everyone I could corner.

My coworkers were all, “Yeah, yeah, Rom, we get it. We’d also like to note that it’s interesting how you can’t pay attention in any staff meeting ever, but you’ve been focused on this for almost three hours.”

Clearly, my coworkers did not understand so I went to Boy Genius next. He squinted at the article. “You know,” he said after a moment. “It kind of looks like that mask your dad had.”

Well, crap. So much for feeling superior.

The mask in question was, actually, scarier than Dominic. I’m not sure where my parents found it, but they dragged it home to add to my Halloween collection. (Side note: Halloweens at our house were the best. We had dry ice for a cauldron, a Styrofoam coffin, and an entire chest full of yard-sale costumes that my sister and I never considered might be infested with lice. It was awesome.)

But back to my dad who came into the kitchen with the mask on and roared. My sister and I looked up and took off. Or, at least, I took off. Poor five-year-old Merrill had been sitting on the floor and, when she jumped up to flee, slammed her head into the bottom of an open drawer. She shrieked, jumped up again, slammed her head again, and hit the floor.

Now everyone was screaming. My dad pulled off the mask—probably expecting laughter to ensue—and the shrieking just got worse.

“You ass!” My sister screamed…or she would’ve screamed if she knew that word at the time. Even so, I still think he got the message loud and clear. My sister is an adorable, tiny, reincarnated Honey Badger—and before she leaves me a nasty comment (Hi, Little!!) let me explain that the temperament was grown entirely out of self-preservation.

Because this wasn’t the last time we, um, teased her.

There was the severed plastic arm rammed into my mother’s mini-van seat cushions, the plastic spiders on her towel…then there was the time she was watching television in the living room alone so I went outside in the dark, walked around to the living room window, and hurled myself against the glass. She almost had a heart attack.

“You ass!” Mer screamed because, by this time, she did know the word. But we were both laughing.

“I know,” I said, almost hyperventilating. “But it sure was funny.”

“Totally,” Mer agreed. And we laughed and laughed until she smacked me in the ear. “Totally,” she agreed.

I’ve been to New York many times, for business and for pleasure, but on my last trip I squeezed a lot into my three-night visit with my daughter Marissa, who has lived there for five years. It was mainly an eating fest, but we managed to fit in some great activities.

My husband and I stayed at a hotel called Le Parker Meridien on 119 W. 56th Street, next to Carnegie Hall. It’s a lovely hotel and our room had a beautiful view of Central Park. . Another place we stay at and enjoy is the New York Marriott Marquis at Times Square . That was where the Romance Writers of America held their annual conference last year.

Le Parker Meridien has two notable places to eat. One is called Norma’s.  Norma’s is expensive, but it’s a unique experience for breakfast, lunch or brunch. They have a $1,000 omelette, with eggs, lobster and caviar (I don’t know what would possess anyone to order that) but everything else is much more reasonably priced. Some good choices are blueberry pancakes and clotted cream, apple and red-pear crepes, Nutella French toast, and regularly-priced omelettes. But make reservations or it will be a long wait. And come hungry. The portions are huge. There’s also the more informal Burger Joint, hidden behind a curtain in the lobby. But you’ll find that the wizards there make great burgers, shakes and fries that people line up for. It’s a well-kept secret.

When we arrived in New York on Thursday night, we hadn’t eaten so the concierge directed us through an office building across the street and out to Circo. We had eaten there in Las Vegas at The Bellagio Hotel. The food is delicious and the service is gracious. The lemon sorbet is to die for. I had the spaghetti and white clam sauce.

Friday, our daughter met us and we ate breakfast at a French bistro called Rue 57 Brasserie Parisienne . Then we went to Columbus Circle to shop at their indoor mall. They had some neat stores, including Coach, an olive oil store, and L.K. Bennett, a Kate Middleton favorite. I had my eye on a red dress but they didn’t have it in my size so we bought it for my daughter in navy. At least someone in the family will get to feel like a princess. Then we went to Cole Haan and I bought a fabulous green purse that doesn’t match anything, but it’s still fabulous.

Then it was off to Ed’s Chowder House. I loved the selection of chowders (Sweet Corn, New England-style Clam, Manhattan-style Blue Crab and Ed’s Loaded Shellfish Chowder) but I tried the spaghetti and white clam sauce and it was horrible. Don’t go there for the pasta.

For dinner that night we went to Otto. I love that place. It’s crowded with long waits without a reservation but worth the wait. They call your name from a board that flips over Italian cities like in a train station. The black truffle honey they serve with the cheese appetizer is to die for. I’ve been there three times and am never disappointed. I had spaghetti carbonara and their pizzas and vegetables are wonderful. The place is a lot of fun.

Another place we didn’t get to this trip but that is owned by the owner of Otto is Eataly, the largest artisanal Italian food and wine marketplace in the world, at 200 5th Avenue. Don’t forget to try to the gelato. http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=AjMIuhOaUuT0g_GLHh5VYYibvZx4?fr=yfp-t-701-s&toggle=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8&p=eataly%20nyc One restaurant we didn’t go to, but had been to before and loved, is Babbo, in Greenwich Village, where you can’t make a reservation until a month in advance. .

We had tickets to Anything Goes and it was one of the best plays I’d seen on Broadway. That afternoon, my husband and daughter wanted to walk around the city and I took the opportunity to go to another play, The Best Man, with a litany of stars, including James Earl Jones, Candace Bergen, John Laroquette, Angela Lansbury and Eric McCormack. On each trip I take to New York, I try to see as many plays as I can. You can get day-of-show tickets at 25 % to 50% discounts through Entertainment-Link at the Times Square, South Street Seaport and Downtown Brooklyn locations.

For dinner Saturday night we had a reservation at db bistro Moderne.  I had the pre-theater priced fixed menu and although the food was good, the waiters were pompous and the chairs uncomfortable. We won’t go back there. An alternative would have been Becco located on Restaurant Row in the heart of the theater district. Wonderful atmosphere, great staff and great food. Below is my favorite dish, spaghetti with white clam sauce.

Sunday morning my daughter and I took a cab to The Frick Collection, an intimate but magnificent collection of art housed in the mansion of Henry Clay Frick, at 1 East 70th Street between Madison and Fifth Avenues. The Frick is one of my favorite museums. It’s on a quiet, elegant street near Central Park. That day we saw a Degas exhibit and went back to my favorite Old Masters and a lovely roomful of Fragonard panels, said to be one of the outstanding achievements of French rococo painting of the eighteenth century.

Then we visited the NYU campus where my daughter is in graduate school and sat at the park people watching—the roller boarders, a man actually playing a grand piano in the park (don’t’ ask me how he got it there), a guy playing his guitar. The weather was perfect.

Afterwards, we went to a delicious brunch at 10 Downing  located at 10 Downing Street at Sixth Avenue, south of Bleecker. Great for people watching through the window. Then on to the Tenement Museum  which starts at 103 Orchard in the Lower East Side. You can watch a film and then tour the building (97 Orchard) and visit restored apartments of past residents from different time periods, meet the residents or walk the neighborhood.

When we got there, there were only two tickets left. So I went to the Hard Times tour on the second floor to visit the restored homes of the German-Jewish family and an Italian-catholic family and my husband went to Irish Outsiders on the fourth floor. It was an hour tour where you learned about the actual families who lived in the tenements and what happened to them. You can also add an hour to your tour for an extended discussion.

Discover how immigrants survived economic depressions at 97 Orchard Street between 1863 and 1935. Visit the restored homes of the German-Jewish Gumpertz family, whose patriarch disappeared during the Panic of 1873, and the Italian-Catholic Baldizzi family, who lived through the Great Depression.
2nd Floor – 1 Hour – Ages 8 +

________________________________________

Pay a visit to the Levine family’s garment workshop and the Rogarshevskys’ Sabbath table at the turn of the 20th century, when the Lower East Side was the most densely populated place in the world. Explore how immigrants balanced work, family and religion at a time of great change.
3rd Floor – 1 Hour – Ages 8 +

Experience the heart of the immigrant saga through the music of Irish America, then tour the restored home of the Moore family, Irish-Catholic immigrants coping with the death of a child in 1869. Compare the Moore’s struggle to keep their family healthy with that of the Katz family, Russian-Jewish immigrants who left their ‘mark’ on our building in the 1930s.
4th Floor – 1 Hour – Ages 12 +

There are a number of other tours you can take, including Foods of the Lower East Side, as well as special events.
MORE INFO
We also bought a digital camera at B&H Photo, an amazing operation you have to see to believe.

There’s never enough time to fit everything in. We didn’t go shopping on Fifth Avenue this time or get to visit the 9/11 Memorial.We’ll save that for the next trip.
This is just one person’s experience in New York. Tell me about some of your favorite experiences in the city that never sleeps.

Marilyn Baron is a longtime member of the Petit Fours and Hot Tamales blog. She has published three humorous, supernatural short stories with TWB Press. A Choir of Angels, Follow an Angel and The Stand-In Bridegroom are available here. In January, she published The Edger, which she co-wrote with her sister, Sharon Goldman,  an award-winning artist in Florida . The Edger is available at Amazon Kindle, Smashwords  and Barnes & Noble Nook Books.

~Getting to know the~

~Petit Fours and Hot Tamales Crew~

May’s Spotlight is on Darcy Crowder

Who are the ladies of the Petit Fours and Hot Tamales Blog? Why should you spend your precious time reading our daily posts?  Why do we want you to follow us and read our books, our personal blogs, our FB status updates and our Tweets? Let us tell you why…

How many “careers” have you had throughout your lifetime? 

LOL.  Well, if I go back far enough, I’ve had a lot of different jobs trying to find my passion.  What do you know?  Turns out I’ve had it since I was just a kid, but never really believed…. So, aside from being a mother (a lifetime career) and writer, I’d have to say three because I was a medical transcriptionist for many, many years.

What is a typical writing day like for you?

These days I’m fortunate enough to be at home, though I’m a compulsive volunteer.  <g>  I usually start my day with email, a quick catch up, then some quiet time to get my head back into my story so I can write.  I spend time in the afternoon working on the volunteer  projects (these days I’m the Maggie Chair for Georgia Romance Writers) and my blog efforts – running It’s Only A Novel with my daughter, Brenna Crowder, and keeping up with Petit Fours and Hot Tamales.   Work in the daily grind stuff and before you know it, the day’s over.  Rinse.  Repeat. 

What writer advice would you give someone just starting to dip their toe into the writing world? 

I would tell them to write their first book by feel – don’t try to study craft first – just write it.  Then,  read maybe the top 5 or 6 books out there, Stephen King’s On Writing, Ann Lamott’s Bird By Bird, Donald Maass’ Fire In Fiction, Deb Dixon’s Goal, Motivation and Conflict, to get you started.  I wish I could remember who said this, but “Don’t try to commit art, just write”, in so many words, is a wonderful mantra to live by.

Why you should read my …

Well, for obvious reasons, I’d love people to read my blog here at Petit Fours and Hot Tamales so they can get to know me as a woman, and a writer.  I’m very proud to be included among such a large group of talented, spectacularly supportive women.

So far, I’ve published two short stories and an essay.  I would love for people to read them because I put my heart into each one of them, as cliché as that sounds.  The essay, Taking The Plunge, in a Cup of Comfort For Weddings, from Adams Media, is the actual true story of how my husband proposed to me sitting on a tree branch hanging over the Chattahoochee River!  Need I say more.  <g>  The other two stories, Shine On, Harvest Moon, in Homecoming In Mossy Creek anthology and Chasing Sunset, in the anthology, Sweeter Than Tea, both from BelleBooks, are completely different from each other due to the needs of the anthologies, but were so fun to write and really helped me experiment with first person, which is something I had never thought I’d find myself writing.  I think they turned out pretty well.  I’d love to hear what my readers have to say.

And then, there’s the blog I just started with my daughter, screenplay writer and author, Brenna Lauren.  This is a bit different from Petit Fours and Hot Tamales because it’s just the two of us (and guests) and we focus more on writing from a women’s fiction perspective, but of course, it’s dear to my heart because, well, it’s such an exciting opportunity to experience this writing life together.  I’m very blessed.

What is your most rewarding experience?

Aside from being a mom, I’d have to say finishing my first book.  It was a culmination of a life-long dream and something I was very proud of myself for achieving.  Of course, it’s now safely tucked under the bed <g>.  Typing The End was a giddy experience, it still is. 

Are you a Petit Four or a Hot Tamale? With your writing and in life…

I’m definitely a Petit Four in my writing, and mostly in life too, I suppose.  I’m rather a quiet person, not very comfortable being the center of attention.  Though, you know what they say about the quiet ones…<g>

Bio: 

Darcy Crowder is the author of Chasing Sunset, a short story in the upcoming anthology, Sweeter Than Tea, from Bellebooks.  Other publications include a short story in Homecoming in Mossy Creek, also from Bellebooks, and a short essay published in A Cup of Comfort for Weddings, from Adams Media.  Darcy is a member of Romance Writers of America, the Women’s Fiction chapter of RWA, LRWA, and has served on the board of Georgia Romance Writers, where she continues to be an active member.  She is also the proud recipient of The Laurie Award from The Rocky Mountain Romance Writers.  She lives in a log cabin in the woods, surrounded by family, nature, and endless inspiration for her novels. 

Petit Fours and Hot Tamales author page    http://www.petitfoursandhottamales.com/darcy-crowder/

It’s Only A Novel blog    http://www.itsonlyanovel.com/

Facebook      https://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100001054875792

It’s Only A Novel Facebook     https://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-Only-a-Novel/335074976545568

Twitter     https://twitter.com/#!/ItsOnlyaNovel

Amazon Mossy Creek anthology   http://www.amazon.com/Homecoming-Mossy-Creek-Debra-Dixon/dp/1611940400/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1337388560&sr=1-1

Sweeter Than Tea, a BelleBooks anthology will be released later this month.

As you can see, all look ready to fly at any moment. No fuzzy down remains, not even on their heads. Hubby took this picture for me one sunny morning. The very next day, I exited the house with dogs, taking them across the deck to let them out in the yard.

Pandemonium ensued under the covered entryway.

It seems we’d interrupted Mrs. Phoebe in the act of convincing her offspring it was high time they struck out on their own. As is the case with many of our own offspring these days, they had grown fond of Mama waiting on them wings and feet while they were busy creating a mess and generally becoming nest potatoes. She was having none of it.

I shrieked and ducked as one bird buzzed the top of my head. The three dogs (remember, they’re bird dogs) started barking and jumping for the birds. This is not a large enclosure, folks. Excited by the noise, another birdie left the next. They circled. The dogs went crazy. I tried to herd dogs and protect my head.

One escaped to freedom. Mama Phoebe chased the baby a ways, then returned to shoo the others, one of whom had just decided to return to the next. Oh, no. Not having it. She came in toward the nest, flapping and tweeting. Not in the same way we tweet, mind you, but from the results she got, I interpreted her message as, “Get out, you ungrateful child. I’m not your chef and maid. Go get your own breakfast!”

With a soft flutter and a tiny shriek, the nest was bereft of life. I let the dogs out and went back to check. Nothing. Not even a stray feather. Plenty of fecal sacs scattered about, the only evidence of their quiet beginnings.

My little entryway felt hollow and I missed seeing the little heads popping up, the flurry of feathers from parents swooping in with worms and bugs. For several days the nest was a silent symbol that life is constantly changing.

Then another change took place. I glanced out on a sunny morning (the habit was hard to break) and there was Mama Phoebe cleaning out the nest. Two days later she began sitting on her newly deposited eggs while Mr. Phoebe brought tasty morsels to nourish his broody mate. The cycle of life has begun again.

Today is my baby’s birthday.  I use the term “baby” loosely.  He married the love of his life last year.  So, now it’s her turn to make his birthday breakfast.  None the less, I found myself pulling out the Happy Birthday sign that we’ve used every year, for each of our birthdays since the kids were born, and hanging in its usual place of honor were the family gathers in the kitchen.  Gone are the days of bedtime stories, forts in the backyard, and pancakes shaped like animals….at least until the next generation.  <g>

Which had me thinking about traditions – and perhaps more specifically, how they evolve as our lives evolve.  Holiday traditions are a given.  When we first were married, Christmas always involved a large family gathering at my husband’s grandmother’s place – a beautiful brick home that her father had built and that reigned supreme for four generations.  Since her passing, the family has taken to celebrating Christmas Day at our house.  The location might have changed, but the spirit remains the same;  a big dinner, a roaring fire, Christmas carols on the stereo, pecan pie, stacks of presents under the tree, our favorite uncle playing Santa, decorations tucked into every nook and cranny.

Then there are those annual family gatherings on the Tennessee River; fishing, swimming, cruising, eating, fishing, playing in the water, eating, fishing…..you get the idea.  <g>

But it’s the “other” traditions I’m thinking of today, like the almost right-of-passage camping trips to the “trout streams” our men take, or the annual target practice Thanksgiving weekend (and you thought Black Friday was a big deal <g>)… and the Scrabble tournaments.  Don’t forget the Scrabble!  As our family grows and changes I wonder how many of these familiar, family-defining traditions will remain.

Will my future granddaughter wear the opera pearls on her wedding day that her mother, grandmother, and several great-grandmothers wore before her?  Will my future grandson love the wild outdoors with the same passion as his father, grandfather and great-grandfathers did?  I hope so.  But I also look forward to the unique and special traditions those future generations will bring.

My First Passion

Since the age of six years old, I’ve been in love with the sport of artistic gymnastics. According to legend, a family member, who was a physical education teacher at the time, thought my tiny, strong little body would be perfectly suited to the sport. To prove his point, he flipped me around, and promptly dropped me on my head. That moment triggered my lifelong love/hate affair with the sport.

Now why do I say love/hate? Well, like a lot of passions in life, there are times when you absolutely love what you’re doing and other times when you wish you could kick it to the curb. As a competitive gymnast, I loved learning all the new tricks. But the blood, sweat and tears (yes, that’s literal) that it takes to get your routines together, to polish them until they shine – takes hours of concentration, focus, and determination.

 I spent my teenage years in chalky, sweat smelling gym. Sure there were cleaners who made sure everything was sanitized from week to week, but whenever I stepped into a gym, especially my training gym – it was the smell of home. And home is never complete without your family. I will never forget my comrades in arms who I spent 5-6 days a week with in our home away from home. We girls celebrated a lot together – accomplishments, birthdays, defeats, victories. We traveled together as a team both for our club and for our province. We saw the rise and fall of gym clubs, and endured coaching changes. A couple of girls I knew even made it as far as the Olympics. There was the occasional cat fight, but in the end we always made up because we had each other, and sometimes when you’ve fallen and face planted on the mat, it takes another gym sister to help you pick yourself up again.

Over the years, and through the power of Facebook, I’ve kept in touch with some of my friends. I will admit that I especially went my own way after a time. I coached various levels of gymnasts for 25 years and ran a gym club at one time. My studies at University centered around Human Movement (Kinesiology). I even ended up teaching at University level for a short few years. But life has a way of showing you that you have other passions inside of you, and so I turned a lot of my focus to writing.

These days my family consists of my children and all that they do. While raising them, I have had the opportunity to publish two collections of poetry, and I now have six books published by three different publishers. As you can imagine, my writing family has grown exponentially in the past two years, and like my gym sisters, my writing sisters & brothers are there to celebrate in my accomplishments, rejections, and life happenings. It’s always wonderful to have such a large support system, and I’m grateful every day for those who have graced my life.

Most of my writing to date is erotic romance of varying heat levels, but I now have one sweet, short romance due out with Secret Cravings Publishing. Secret Cravings Publishing took a chance on my Love and Balance series which centers around my first passion – gymnastics. These books focus on the lives of gymnastics coaches as they struggle to find love and balance in their personal and professional lives. Books 1 & 2 are out now and Book 3 (Tumbling Hearts) has been contracted with a fall release date. Here’s a little about them:

Book1, Rebound:

Claire LeMay is at the top of her game – she’s head of a prominent gymnastics facility with her gymnasts winning awards for her outstanding choreography. Now her biggest challenge is to coach alongside the man she’s avoided for three years after he demanded she live in his shadow instead of forging her own path.

After sinking every penny of his inheritance into his state-of-the-art gymnastics facility, Justin Black has achieved his dream. But even with hundreds of members and well-trained coaches, when Claire’s presence invades his space, he reluctantly admits she’s the one thing missing in his life. Oblivious as to why she walked out on him three years ago, he attempts to call a truce.

As their old passion tumbles out faster than a gymnast sprinting down the vault runway, they realize they are in the same impossible position as they were three years ago. Are they destined to repeat the same old routine or will they be able to choreograph a new one?

Book 2, The Perfect Score: Shelley Longstaff finally has her chance to be in charge only to rue the day when she is asked to train the dreaded Anna Fortier, a gymnast who has no sense of sportsmanship and makes everyone in her vicinity miserable. When Shelley refuses, she’s threatened with a lawsuit by her father. To make things worse, Shelley has an inexplicable attraction to the arrogant rich lawyer!

Since his wife’s death five years ago, Jacques (Jack) Fortier does whatever it takes to protect what is his. Shelley’s club is his last resort to keep his daughter in the sport, but threatening to sue her isn’t exactly his smartest move. When she grudgingly agrees to give Anna a chance, he finds himself attracted to the spritely gymnastics coach – the first woman he’s had any feelings for since his wife passed away.

As Shelley and Jack leap over the line in their parent-coach relationship, Shelley worries over falling in love with a man who admittedly still loves his late wife. But when a crisis of teenage proportions threatens their relationship, will they risk everything for the chance to achieve The Perfect Score?

Here’s what one reader review had to say about Rebound:

“Ms. Kamryn really delivers a sensual and emotionally moving story in Rebound. Her writing style flows like poetry and creates stunning mental images. With her own background in sports, there is a sense of realism present in her story that makes the plot more believable. Her heroine is a down-to-earth woman with hopes, dreams, and challenges. And the hero in the story is someone I’d like to meet, masculine and sexy, but with a heart.”

Another reader reviewer had this to say:

“I’ve read a few of Ms. Kamryn’s books, but this one by far was my favorite. I liked that the romance was realistic, and the conflict believable. There was a constant chemistry between her characters, and the sex was smoking hot.”

These books aren’t by far my more erotic work, but there is a high level of sensuality in these books. (If that kind of book isn’t for you, please check out my website to read excerpts. I have heat and content warnings on my site. I apologize that not all third party sites rate the heat content as was pointed out by one reader.) If you love a good story with steamy love scenes, then please check out my books.

To conclude, should you find yourself embarking on a passionate adventure, I hope you find a great “family” to share it with you and support when you need. I am the person I am today because of the people I’ve had the pleasure to meet. And if any of you are in the Atlanta, Georgia area October 6th, please be sure to drop by the Hilton Northeast, Norcross where the Moonlight and Magnolias conference will be hosting a Book Fair and Signing for Literacy Event. I will be there to sign my books and would love to meet readers!

Today one lucky person who leaves a comment will receive a copy of one of Kellie’s books.

About Kellie Kamryn

A full-time mom, Kellie Kamryn spends most of her days as an occasional chauffeur, part-time cook, half-time maid, arm-chair psychologist, and full-time Captain of her crew. In her spare time, she uses her imagination to write stories and poetry that sweep herself and readers into other worlds – everything from sweet to hot, steamy prose that will melt your heart (or your undies)! Her vivid story-telling and quirky sense of humor have gained her numerous 5-star reader and reviewer reviews. Truly multi-talented, when she has absolute quiet, she does voice work for one of her publishers by recording audio books.

PRO member of the Romance Writers of America, Kellie is a regular contributing blogger for the Ass Cheek Angels, and the Naughty Romance Writers. She is also a motivational speaker who will be presenting her workshop 10 Ways to Stay Positively Motivated In Writing and In Life at the Moonlight and Magnolias Conference in Georgia later this year. If you have questions for her, would like to order signed copies of any of her titles in print, or book her for a speaking engagement, please fill out the comment form on the website and she will be happy to get back to you as soon as possible.

Connect with Kellie Kamryn

Website:  www.kelliekamryn.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/KellieKamryn,
twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/KellieKamryn
blog: www.kelliekamryn.blogspot.com

Don’t be shy! Say hello! And thanks to the wonderful ladies of Petit Fours and Hot Tamales for having me as a guest on their blog!

Signed copies of my paperbacks may be ordered through my site.

A week or so ago I came across a couple of articles on Twitter that really made me think about racism, particularly how it relates to my own writing. The first article is more generally about ‘hipster racism’—I’m not sure I have a working definition of ‘hipster’ yet, so you’re going to have to read that one yourself. The second article points out the dearth of minority main characters, particularly in shows set in New York. Both of those articles gave me pause. Why don’t I have more minority characters? Is it because I suffer from this ‘hipster racism’?

Maybe I write too much of what I know? But, Sally, you say, you have all sorts of different friends. And this is true. Some of my favorite people on this planet just happen to be black or Hispanic or gay, but my high school had a minority population of less than ten percent. I didn’t meet my first openly gay person until I was in college as he nonchalantly told me his boyfriend had tossed him out. Naïve and sheltered by geography, I spent a good deal of my life being uncomfortable about people who were “other” simply because almost everyone I knew was white.

Maybe I’m afraid I won’t get it right? I’ve been criticized for my portrayal of teachers (I was a teacher), of southerners (yep, one of those two), and even of bean-pickers (did my share of that, too). I could dismiss those comments, though, because I knew my interpretation was, at the very least, true to my own experience. One of the first criticisms to really hurt me, though, was that of my gay florist. He was a former football player long before Cameron on Modern Family  or Karofsky on Glee made such characters cool. He was probably a touch too effeminate, but to me he had depth and courage to live so openly in such a small town. What did the judges say? Stereotypical. Then I had an African American woman lawyer. In my mind she was as tough as nails because she’d had to be. In my mind, her struggle to get out of the projects mirrored my protagonist’s struggle with her rural roots. What did the students who critiqued it say? Stereotypical. I’d love to defend myself on that one, but that critique scarred me to the point I took her out of the novel and didn’t write another black character until my current WIP. Honestly, it’s hard for me to say if the problem came from the characters I created or my inability to convey who they were on paper. I can assure you I’ve never intentionally written a stereotypical caricature, but both of those stories came from early on in my career when I couldn’t even write educated-country-girl-with-a-love-of-cows properly.

Maybe—and I think we have a winner here—maybe I’m afraid of what my friends would say. Maybe I’m afraid I won’t have any friends after I finish writing this blog post, but sometimes we need to speak the truth. My truth is that I don’t know what’s up with the writers on Sex in the City, Friends, Seinfeld, Girls, or How I Met Your Mother, but I think it’s possible that they, too, don’t write minority characters out of fear. And the more I think about that fear, the more I believe the only way we are ever going to get beyond racism is to eradicate fear in all of its forms whether it be the more insidious fear of people who aren’t exactly like you or the less harmless yet still debilitating fear of disappointing or offending those we love and respect.

So, I vow to include more diversity in my books–and by diversity I mean anyone who’s not exactly like me. I’ve been wrestling with a particular story that needs to be told through a male perspective, and I’ve had trouble squaring with that. But good writing, the best writing stretches us in a quest for truth. Keeping my little fictional world lily white, exceedingly female, and straight as an arrow is a) unrealistic and b)cowardly.

P.S. On this Tuesday right after Mother’s Day, I want to say thank you to my mother. She shaped my thoughts. She taught me that all people are God’s children. She taught me to look beyond prejudice and stereotype and to always imagine how the other person feels in any situation. Any mistakes I make are mine, but I’m so lucky to have had such a loving and empathetic person as my mother.

I made a road trip out to Oklahoma last week.  My father’s father is from that part of the world and I still have cousins that live in the area. It is a seventeen hour drive but I broke it into smaller parts that made it more doable.

Lavern, Oklahoma is a tiny town in the center of the beginning of the panhandle. The part where the handle joins the pan, Lavern would be a bolt.  By east coast standards this part of the US is a lonely, desolate area. My father used to say “you can see further and see less than anywhere else in the word. “ That hasn’t changed in the fifty three years I’ve been making visits.

My grandfather was born in the territory of Oklahoma in little more than a shack. My family pioneered the land. A couple of brothers from Pennsylvania rode their horses out to the open territory. They wrote back “come on out, the grass is as high as a horse’s belly.” My ancestors loaded everything they owned in a wagon and went west.  They built a homesteaded.

Land was divided into sections made up of 640 areas. In order to own a full section, a person had to sleep on it for five years. So, my family built a house on the corner of the quarter  sections, each sleeping in a room over that section. This would give them plenty of land to farm. Over one hundred years later, the house in still standing and my cousin is living in it. That home has been added on to, changed around but it is still on the original sections.

My grandfather died from a ruptured appendix two months before my father was born. Growing up, my Dad would visit his Oklahoma side of the family by hitchhiking and riding the train from Nashville, Tennessee where he lived with his mother.  Daddy said he would get on the train with the cowboys carrying their saddles, and that it stuck awful.

The night of my visit, I shared a wonderful evening with two of my cousins and rode over a small plot of land that is part of my inheritance.  I stopped by the town cemetery on my way out of town the next morning.  There I remembered my great aunt and uncle who love me as much as they had loved my Dad, and who had shown him who his father was though them.  My great grandmother lies next to them on the rise above town.

Lavern has changed little since those days or from the time I visited as a child but it still gives me a little thrill to visit. I never knew my grandfather but through visits to Lavern, returning to my heritage I become strong in whom I am.

Do you have a story of your heritage?

Can you answer these questions correctly?

1)   The petals of which flower cover Mena Suvari in 1999’s “American Beauty”?

2)   What was Mary Stuart Masterson’s favourite flower in the movie, “Bed of Roses”?

3)   In “It’s a Wonderful Life” (1945), what flower shields Mary (Donna Reed) when her bathrobe comes loose?

4)   What flower-themed song does Uncle Billy (Thomas Mitchell) sing about?

5)   What was Princess Diana’s favorite flower to receive?

6)  What was Kathleen Kelly’s (Meg Ryan) favorite flower in the movie, “You’ve Got Mail”?

Answers:  1-Rose, 2-A Sterling Rose, 3-Hydrangea, 4-My Wild Irish Rose, 5-Long-stemmed Yellow Roses, 6-Daisy

It’s May and many of us are thinking flowers.  Also, many are planting flowers or planted them earlier.  For me, this year, I’ve been planting wave petunias in baskets.  There are purple and lavender in a couple of baskets, and one basket of white and pink.  I have Knockout Roses, azaleas, a rhododendron bush, a snowball bush, yellow belles, hydrangea, gardenias and an African lily.  All of these make spring a divine time to roam around the yard while outside.  I do like planting flowers, but I admit, pushing a wheel borrow around in the hot sun, is not my favorite thing to do.  I do the hanging baskets and flower pots, but if it’s in the yard, hubby wants to do it—and I graciously allow this.

Oh, yes, I nearly forgot.  My favorite?  It’s very hard to say.  I do love hydrangeas, but I would also say my favorite is an iris, but sometimes it just depends on what I walk by.  Flowers are truly a wonder of God that I think are just beautiful.

Still having trouble deciding on your favorite?  What does your favorite flower say about your personality and style?

Daisy: Refreshing and unpretentious, this type is often sunny and optimistic, loving to spend lots of time in nature, and preferring clothes that don’t mind getting a little rumpled. Choose fresh, natural colors and crisp fabrics. Image: A casual picnic on a patchwork quilt spread out in a sunny field of wildflowers.

Gardenia: Exotic and a bit sultry, this type often favors saturated colors and sensuous textures, an air of mystery and an Asian flair. You may want to explore brightly-colored brocades and embroidered fabrics, or pieces sewn with tiny mirrors. Image: Moonlight shines through incense smoke onto the silken draperies of an exotic boudoir.

Iris: Meditative and with a deep sense of spirituality, this type often prefers simple, cool-colored clothes that move well, and that impart a sense of ease and serenity. Image: A still pool reflects the misty dawn light; a heron stands quietly nearby.

Poppy: Vibrant and creative, this type is unconventional and even a bit quirky, always ready to explore new things. Choose unusual color combinations, vintage pieces, and clothes inspired by works of art or the cinema. Image: A jazz band plays against the background of a vivid, expressive mural.

Rose: Warm, and with an old-fashioned sense of femininity, this type is often a deep-dyed romantic with a timeless sense of style that never goes out of fashion. Choose classic pieces in warm colors that enhance your womanly curves. Image: A cozy table set for two with candles casting a warm glow on the vase of full-blown roses.

Violet: Sensitive, private, and complex, this type may take a little time to get to know, but she is definitely worth it! Her style tends to be understated but tastefully and quietly elegant. Choose subtle colors and soft fabrics that feel good against your skin. Image: A secret garden at sunset; at the foot of the mossy brick wall, small flowers bloom.

(http://www.care2.com/greenliving/favorite-flower-personality-type.html)