By:  Sandra Elzie

Yesterday afternoon I dropped by to visit with Miss Maggie at her big ole’ house on the hill….and you know how that lady can bake and that she makes the best cup of fresh-brewed tea in ten counties…well, anyway, we were sitting in her kitchen and laughing so hard that the tears flowed.  All-in-all, I’d say we had a knee-slapping good time “telling tales out of school.”  For those of you who aren’t Southern…or just haven’t heard this idiom before, it simply means we were having a good laugh at the expense of our family and pets.  I’ve attached a picture to show you what makes two…slightly matured…ladies whoop & holler.   In fact, we had such a great time that I’ve just gotta  share it with you…but (shhhh)  don’t tell anyone I told you…’mums’ the word.

You know what?  I’ve got a better idea.  “They” say that a picture is worth a thousand words, so let’s give that a try.  A friend sent me this picture and I’ve just gotta share.

I think it’s humorously obvious that the guy in the convertible above is about ready to have a very bad day. But what about us “normal” folks?

When I saw this little picture and asked myself …What’s a bad day to me? … I immediately thought about the 40+ years that I got up at 4:00 to 5:00 a.m. to go to work.  Ah yes, retirement.  I’m now in my…(clears throat) 9^th year of this fabulous thing called “retirement”…but, that’s another post.

Then I thought about the period of time we lived on acreage in the northern half of California and had cows—cows that thought the grass was always greener on the other side of the fence.  Or how about that dreaded call from the school…”Good morning, Mrs. Elzie.  I’m calling to check up on your daughter.  We’ve really missed her the past nine school days and we’re wondering if her flu is any better.”   (WHAT?!!!!!!!)

Also, owning pets can assure us that there will be “those” days when they do something so appalling that we have to repeatedly remind ourselves that 1) He’s part of the family 2) He’s usually not this destructive and lastly, 3) He’s just so darned cute.   In my case, my little guy didn’t rip off wall paper….  just the better part of a roll of toilet paper. 

Now I don’t know if you’ll agree with me, but I think “Bad Days” can even be rated on a scale of One to Ten.    For instance…waking up with a bad head cold…and having to call in sick to work…would rate  “One” in my book since staying home offsets some of the feeling rotten negative points.  So what do I consider worthy of the grand prize—the ten-point trophy?

Hummmm, well, aside from some obviously horrible things that I won’t get in to since I want to keep this post a bit more lighthearted…I’d say the call I got from hubby saying that on the way to work he’d killed Bambi’s mother…(his words, not mine)…and in the process he’d totaled our pickup truck.  Yep, I think that day ranks near the top of my list of things that would give me a hint that the day wasn’t looking very good.

So what does it take to make your list?  (and don’t forget to tell us what point your experience rates on the Bad Dad Monitor!)

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Sandra Elzie is a published author living in the Atlanta area with her husband of many decades and their sometimes destructive, (but always cute) little feline, Jack.  She also writes e-books as Sandra McGregor and her books are available at:  http://www.amazon.com/Duty-Calls-Series-ebook/dp/B005LWVTY8/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1357997317&sr=1-3&keywords=by+Sandra+McGregor

You can read more about her on her website:  http://www.SandraElzie.com  

PETIT FOURS AND HOT TAMALES would like to welcome author  HILDIE MCQUEEN !

Have you ever lived in a small town?   If not, have you ever thought about things that would be different than living in a big city?   Today Hildie is sharing with us the art of living in a small town.

THE ART OF SMALL TOWN LIVING

By:  Hildie McQueen

Although my hometown is not what I consider small, it’s not huge either. Rarely can I venture out and not run into someone I know. So I have learned, there is an art to small town living that new folks need to understand.

For starters, that quick dash to the grocery store with your hair up with a dirty scrunchy and eye boogers is a perfect recipe for disaster. You WILL run into at least ten people you know, including the handsome guy that changes your oil who you were hoping would one day work up the nerve to ask you out.

Do not ever flip off, cut off, or scream out your window at a bad driver. The one time I did that, yes I think I did all three; the car was parked at my church when I arrived.  Talk about a little bit awkward.

Speaking of driving, when you honk at the car in front of you who did not notice the light change to green, it’s not going to move things along. Actually, the opposite will happen. Everyone will turn around and look to see who is honking. The person in front of you will wave and stare in the rearview mirror while trying to figure out if they know you.

Trash talking will always get to the source of your ire. This is bad and good. Bad because they find out you said something negative about them. Good because it’s the perfect way for them to hear how you feel without you having to speak to them directly.

Lastly, “Bless her heart,” really does work. The perfect ending to what you said about the above mentioned.   Example: “Did you see Sally-Sue just hanging all over Bubba, with that ill-fitting green dress she favors so much?”    Complete the comment with. “Bless her heart.”

We’d like to thank Hildie for joining us today.  I’m sure you’re going to want to learn more about Hildie, so check out her website or follow her on Twitter…..and then pop over and check out her books!

Desperate Betrayal - Amazon  B&N                                                     Facebook: www.facebook.com/HildieMcQueen

Desperate Surrender - Amazon  B&N                                                 More about Hildie at www.hildiemcqueen.com

Desperate Choices - Amazon                                                                                     Twitter: @HildieMcQueen

Where The Four Winds Collide - Jan 2013

Naughty But Still Nice

Over the past few months, I have had several opportunities to share how I have recently made the leap from writing historical fiction with strong romantic elements (as Emery Lee), to writing erotic historical romance (as Victoria Vane). While this was definitely NOT part of my original career plan, I have discovered to my surprise that writing spicier stories has improved my writing all around, particularly by honing the ability to convey intense emotion onto the page.  I have also learned that “naughty” can actually be fun!

My first erotic historical novella A BREACH OF PROMISE, was largely inspired by a Georgian era play, The Belle’s Stratagem by Mrs. Hannah Cowley, the basic premise of which is an arranged marriage with a reluctant bridegroom. Like Cowley’s Doricourt, my hero Marcus has been many years travelling abroad and has learned to appreciate continental beauty and manners far above those of his own countrywomen.

 Cowley’s Leticia is smitten by her erstwhile finance but dismayed by his apparent indifference to her charms and vows to “win his heart or never be his wife.”  These circumstance and sentiments closely match those of my own heroine, Lydia Trent, although the two heroines employ different tactics to achieve the same end. Determined to rebuff the arrogant and conceited Marcus at every turn, Lydia wages a battle royale only to discover she is defenseless against his counter-strategy of seduction.

A BREACH OF PROMISE has received wide critical acclaim from reviewers who seem to be shocked that if you were to remove the graphic loves scenes from this naughty novella, there is still (gasp!) a great story!

The next big writing project I undertook stretched me even further, as I endeavored to combine history and romance with erotic and comedic elements! The result is A WILD NIGHT’S BRIDE  ( to be released April 27^th), a story I can best describe as a racy, rollicking Georgian romp (Think Fielding’s Tom Jones meets The Hangover and you’ll have a good idea of the tone.) This is also the first title in a series of four novellas collectively entitled THE DEVIL DEVERE

A WILD NIGHT’S BRIDE was also somewhat inspired by Mrs. Cowley’s play as my heroine Phoebe is an actress at the Covent Garden Theatre who actually plays the part of Kitty Willis in The Belle’s Stratagem in hope of finding a “benefactor.”  Although this is a very light-hearted romantic comedy, I used many real events such as the plays, the closing of the theatre for renovation, as well as some salacious tidbits from the private life of George IV when he was a young Prince of Wales. The rest of the story is just pure devilment. (Pun intended!)

To explain a bit about this series, all four novellas may stand alone but combined read almost like a serial novel, as they form the whole story of my six main characters. Picking up where AWNB leaves off is a second erotic romantic comedy (albeit a bit tamer) called THE VIRGIN HUNTRESS.

The third book, THE DEVIL YOU KNOW, is the longest novella at about 45K words and is chronologically speaking a prequel. It’s also not a comedy but a darker erotically charged story with elements of mystery and intrigue. The last book, THE DEVIL’S MATCH finds our devious Viscount DeVere finally brought to his knees. This title has more of a traditional HR tone but with strong erotic elements and neatly wraps up the entire series. Each of these e-books will be released about 4-6 weeks apart and will eventually be bundled together in a print book in late August or September.

Although I am now writing some pretty hot stuff, I have also vowed to be true to my history-loving heart in that everything I write still has a historical basis, whether it is the inspiration, the characters, or real events that I employ to help the story unfold.  Excerpts to my novellas are available on my web site at http://authorvictoria vane.com. I hope you will also visit my author blog, VICTORIA’S TITILLATING TIDBITS where I share the inspiration and research that has gone into each of my stories.

ABOUT VICTORIA VANE:

A lover of history and deeply romantic stories, Victoria combines these elements to craft romantic historical novels and novellas for a mature reading audience. Her writing influences are Georgette Heyer for fabulous witty dialogue and over the top characters, Robin Schone , Sylvia Day, and Charlotte Featherstone for beautifully crafted prose in stories with deep sensuality, and Lila DiPasqua for creative vision in melding history with eroticism. Ms. Vane also writes award nominated romantic historical fiction as Emery Lee.

TITLES:
A BREACH OF PROMISE,Ellora’s Cave 12/23/11
A WILD NIGHT’S BRIDE, Breathless Press 4/27/12
THE VIRGIN HUNTRESS, Breathless Press, 6/29/12
THE DEVIL YOU KNOW- Breathless Press, 7/27/12
THE DEVIL’S MATCH – Breathless Press TBA